Loners

Last edited Wed Dec 10, 2025, 10:36 AM - Edit history (5)

This rant applies to me-a person who is not and never will be an influencer, a public person (unless doxxed at which point (feel free to get a life )).
This is a mutual extortion thing that our elites are engaged in and it doesn’t directly apply to us rabble except wrt what choices we make.

I got a headstart here and I for one plan to file complaints against all the private sector entities and hospitals involved (though not any specific doctors) so at the very least this cannot happen again. I am not suing for money etc. That’s how these people who force AI, big data and exploit humans in this layer in between thing. It’s gross neoliberal shit.

I use marijuana medically and I don’t expect to get into trouble with the local police. Which is why I am taking this stance. I have no wish to go to prison. What is human when you are not a public person and a scientist who likes being scientist however failed and mediocre is that, it’s not sane or very human like beyond a point to keep pulling a Merrick Garland.

I have changed in the kind of left I am and have evolved past neoliberal shit that is anti my own survival though convenient to all the people who made bank frpm this.

I will be filing complaints against my last employer and everyone here in India in the private sector responsible for this as well as public officials who to this day refuse to shit it down and give me the info I have the right to directly and bring in more bullshit “sousveillance”, surveillance and sleuths etc

This won’t age well. I really owe Nathan Robinson of Current Affairs, Yasha Levine and a number of progressive voices for guiding me and giving me a backbone and I owe EarlG and Rollo Carpenter of cleverbot and I use WhatsApp because I like Yan LeCun but whatever involved my street and home and continues to will be the source of nothing but conflict.

Thanks to Salon Magazine about 3 hours ago, this finally clicked for me after 14 long years. I saw three articles that together computed.

When I first saw this, my first instinct was “No” I dislike this. But they made it about me and then I am marijuana user so.

But I have never been part of anything sleazy nor neoliberal and I have no wish to be. And because all this happened in addition to my main job of strictly pure science work in my field in some small way with nothing else..I am not going to disappoint the kind of people who have been such a help to me even if they are not powerful fashionable etc.

This is a survival issue for me.

Survival as in how much more of my time and resources will go into angrily suffering something that has already laid my lfie to waste grow around me.

https://www.salon.com/2025/12/09/the-democrats-are-not-serious-people/

https://www.salon.com/2025/11/20/jeffrey-epstein-was-an-open-secret-for-years-thats-not-a-good-thing/


I have never had anything creepy in my life. Nor in my extended circle. My friends and main mentor especially are some of the best people I know and I am not going to play nice and pretend that 14 ghastly extortionate disproportionate and fucking “only suited for that tabloid shit on twitter/tiktok/facebook” response is possible.

This is a shameful secret. I have even written to Nathan Robinson, whom I respect a lot asking him to consider saying it isn’t cool. I trust and respect Nathan. I don’t know him but he has been a very influential person in my life as has Yasha Levine. But Yasha doesn’t -he is not the type of person who ..I don’t want to say moralizes


These guys who are depriving us all of privacy and pushing specific narratives useful to them and predatory to us and holding their own poor workers who are decent hostage with a salary, they are pretending this is incremental
It’s accelerating and it is so lame and stupid.

But if is not ever pushed back it’s not that it will ever be not undoable but that starts with serious pushback and without this lame shit where they can take you hostage with trivialities.

When so much happened with just me, it shows the power of these lame and douchey things. If this isn’t enough that you want these guys’ neoliberal bs and only ever remembering the last popular thing


I aim to be relatively powerless (relatively since a citizen of a democracy has some power if they don’t yield to kayfabe and someone else’s drivel..whether it is a mob like these assholes who have harassed me for 4 years as I was dealing with my moms death..these guys are assholes, they are misogynists and no), lacking influence, obscure but still having an income and healthcare and an environment that isn’t depleted for this worthless fucking trash and democratic rights.

Marijuana legalization should not be mixed up with this trash. How shameless can you get?
I am filing allegations of misconduct and malpractice and harassment about the last 14 years.
It would be a betrayal of my colleagues, doctors, family and friends to not.


I use marijuana. I don’t have secrets like these:


https://www.wbur.org/news/2025/11/20/emails-epstein-mit-harvard-trump-chomsky


I am not going along with some shit about information and hoaxes and AI etc to cover for old men who do creepy shit.
And it’s not all old white men etc. There are old men of all kinds like these, young men and women who protect them and engage with them.


I just never was one and it’s an insult to my colleague and friends and people I do engage with to not file complaints ahd keep fighting but anonymously and non performative.
My thinking has not been very clear/ I got thrown off by that influencer thing.
Grassroots activist ..that’s me.


But this is an instance where the web can be used. But I don’t hustle to any easy end. I use DU because I trust EarlG.
I am not paranoid.

But where there is no reason to trust there is none..and those places MIT (that’s the place that drove Aaron Schwartz to suicide..it’s a shitnschpol though a few decent profs exist)


It’s one thing to have secrets as in you protect peopel from nazis or stalkers. It’s another to protect the elite and have the rest of us muddle through this

This is not an income source for me/ if anything it’s the opposite/ sure academics do a lot of stuff for free. I just didn’t expect to have to …I am not even sure what this is.

But it is a warning. I never even heard the word kayfabe till recently.

And these guys are trying to make this a horseshoe thing as if people like progressives like me are similar to anti vaxxer or paranoid schizophrenics or targeted individuals or generic miscreants.


This is why a grifty MAHA “anti-establishment” thrives..think Jessica Krause. As far as I can tell the only problem persons like that have with power is when they don’t get their cut. And MAGA populism is garbage like attacks on Dr Fauci.
MIT drove Aaron Schwartz to suicide. They are pretty awful and I posted a piece by Evgeny Morozov yesterday that I agree with and extend to Google/all billionaires etc.


And the controls (data or other) are all in their hands. Thats not how life works.

The sole olive branch (and a damn slender one it is) I can offer my last lab and this other awful one adjacent to it, is that provided you don’t have the kind of shit Chomsky/Marvin Minsky etc do or did (and I saw no indication of anything beyond lousy neoliberal politics forced as “pragmatic! And being assholes enough to back the sexism of that school over go out on a limb for an unprepossessing and incoherent postdoc, it is unpredictable from there on.

I can now see that this fits various CS games and game theory. Information and prediction etc. I am at a point where the information in the openly accessible parts of reality (AI agents, LLMs, voice assostants..maybe something like Havana Syndrome -who knows?, facebooks stupid and creepy little emotion contagion, emotion AI, VR, many online worlds!! Some sort of pathetic simulation theory etc) and less risibly and tackily cryptography for this shit environment so every harmless private random doesn’t get doxxed) is enough to predict what to avoid while filin


I have seen this for 14 years and I am prepared to really truly fight these systems and their outrages given the number of them that tried to break my veins

It’s always the same-use elite influence and money or control mobs on line or off.
The only “nuance” ever is to keep the same sleazy machine going/

Real conspiracy theory is Candace Owens to Maha. It’s not being a progressive who sees bts and can atmost say “well these neoliberal assholes or their fake woke real capitalism” are not people I want to emulate.


I am going to log off till Jan 1, 2027. But I will spotcheck the news.
I should make my own Wordpress to dump anything into and not keep annoying DU so I can pushback in due course


The left (ie Yasha Levine and Current Affairs and Nathan Robinson have really been guides for me in what was a dark period.
I am not prone to depression. But outside of environmental issues or science, I get confused as a loner who doesn’t like human mob dynamics or sleazy forms of individualism

I like solidarity. It’s just personality. I like being alone. I really liked my main lab and colleagues since that was just science but with cool people/
This was confusing. I think they rehabilitate people who lead to more money or mob control faster even if they knew Epstein, worked for oe with Google till Google kicks them out. But peopel Cato etc consider a threat to junk capitalism like Paul Ehrlich are smeared.
Whatever Ehrlich’s faults he is not in the Epstein files.
I don’t think the Population Bomb identified the correct issues with overpopulation and the fixes were inhumane. But if you were privy to the heartless world of the elite of Stanford etc it did predict how people who are for ecocide and have deeply undemocratic views and would back genocide think. And if you are around the “humanist leftists or liberals” or conservadems of Stanford etc let alone their more overtly nazi right that’s what you woikd expect the policy prescriptions those guys would back one way or another/ remember this “microfinance” loans that drove farmers to suicide

That is this type of “development”.

I am going to fight this to the end from now on and unpredictably.

I needed a sledgehammer to the head once I was no longer in the world of science I understand and can’t be herded into the next hustle or taken hostage/
I won’t retract a single paper or graph of mine/. They are low quality science but not misconduct and I am working on and will submit a mediocre quality paper in a year.

But they have never been sleazy and in bed with money and power. That’s how average scientists who also work in science and aren’t this disgraceful are
So shameful..humpinf retraction watch to performatively be pure while also humping Google and Facebook.
I care about the quality of science

I can’t think of a single scientist I respect wjo doesn’t but they don’t also hump Google etc
And I am saying this so some creep on IDw or a joke like Vance and that pathetic beaglegate and Maha can’t..they are not populists. They are bullshitters.
You have to stand up for what is right prioritizing properly.
I am no Gino. I am self correcting a paper I started self correcting myself and will submit it when it is of acceptable mediocrity.
The quality in science is really high. I can’t aspire to more than honest mediocrity having started out with honest low quality.
That’s life/ but this shit google etc peddle is truly misconduct with democracy and civil rights etc
And Palantir and Musk are nazis.

I will do my best by reality not drivel. All sorts of people who are worst off are getting strained and we are supposed to kowtow to neoliberals and their continued lousy instincts. Fuck that..
I already get nuance and complexity

That’s why I follow Nathan Robinson ans Yasha and peope like that who are better at prioritizing and while not caving

I am solidly MeToo. I don’t like Neil DeGrasse Tyson or Lawrence Krauss or Walter Lewin or Kanury Rao etc. They are creeps. I didn’t think Tim Hunts joke was a big deal after his students and postdocs said he was not sexist just clunky.

It is important to scale correctly with offenses and not lower the bar but without mob rule which is very random and can be explored by Nazis
That’s why Cuomo was backed by people who claimed to be MeToo.


You gotta get these things right and I back my own instincts and not overnight but after 14 nightmarish years. Of seeing trivial shit excused and really bad stuff fly. Epstein is not a triviality. That’s as bad as it gets.
With this lack of privacy and these guys pushing shit, I want to make sure that one attacks wrong things and ignores genuine trivialities.
I thought the Tim Hunt thing was stupid given how Facebook Google and Twitter were changing the world of women’s rights with data science especially.


I felt kinda sorry for Tim hunt since I can see making a socially awkward joke myself. If that is all and his students and postdocs backed him. I can’t see tolerance of creeps.
That’s the thing.

And this is the shit these guys who are team power and money and wealth back always.
I can’t see creepiness being okay. What is real matters.

Sept 5, 2011- Dec 10, 2025..this was the worst period of my life. I am going offline till Jan 1, 2027 wrt DU.
I will start an obscure blog known only to me to document stuff if I worry about anything. But unlikely. I think I will just work and shoot to push six fully and file all applicable complaints and not cooperate or cave.
I am grateful to EarlG and Elad and Skinner if he is still around.

I never had any mental issues. They just label progressives mental, fraudulent or whatever they can. And there is no end in sight in the lazy way. But that doesn’t mean I am not pragmatic in sane ways. But no acclimation to this ott shit. I am already pragmatic in sanw ways not a neoliberal spin that exploits every calamity trom a pandemic to marijuana legalization to destroy the public sector and give more to theee parasitic neoliberals. No. Anyway.
I’ll be back in a year. This is a love letter to the left..the real left and all the people who never even get heard and have hard lives versus this bullshit parade that rips everyone off.
Always attacking a person with this shit and then blaming them

That’s okay but I was just leading a quiet life and I will do that but the anonymous complainant isn’t going anywhere. And lose your stupid breadcrumbs and sleuthing and get a life.

Well maybe not the blog. Yet another thing.
If I feel exasperated enough and I will find some post in this forum ..
It’s not unconnected witb politics at all. Just not self serving rubbish.
I agree with Alex Skopic. The left is always correct too early.

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Well maybe not Jan 1, 2027. If it was an ordinary situation maybe. But this is the only board interact with and I have political concerns that I need help with addressing since they are tied to science, democracy, women’s rights and things everyone on this board cares about.
I will admit to wanting to go and immerse myself in work and watch tv and read books and play with cats but it isn’t that simple.

These people really are jerks and I cringe when I see people say more moderates and more neoliberals are the solution.
The left has helped me a lot and DU overall is more progressive than not even if not as left as Current Affairs or Yasha Levine -my two other go to sources to make sense of reality.
It has nothing to do with mental health and everything to do with science, women’s rights, which left leaning people are ostracized and why (hint: green! Why? Worst for business as usual) so I find the stuff that isn’t performative except very harmlessly…

This trash wrt AI it really is the worst. These assholes really give all credit they can to ai. Adam Becker is wrong. It’s not “good autocomplete”. It’s a drag and a menace and it slows the human brain down. Most outrageous is that trash and that too from some creep at Google grabbing everything.

And they are always out to rehabilitate anyone who is for business as usual. The other day I saw one of these things where two sets of assholes were in conflict and I couldn’t even tell which was worse.

This douchebag who isn’t even a scientist and very wedded to for profit journals and hates open access as too “me, me, me” unlike this pos who is apparently a paragon of humanitarianism :

https://www.the-geyser.com/retractions-are-stressful-good/
Even there like a classic toady that Stanford piece of shit he doesn’t attack. This asshole interviews people like that sleazy Roger MacNamee. Yeah that guy..a sleazy venture capitalist of the type who backs shit first and then makes bank attacking it shouldn’t be stressed but your average measly scientist

People like this arse is why I won’t retract a single of shoddy work of mine. I am already correcting/ I was never a sleazy handmaid who made money from anything and I was paid 45 k at my peak earning and since then have been engaged in unpaid self correction
It is true I don’t go and harass my colleagues and Retraction Watch 😤! I go on the system of trust having seen the corrupt system of paranoia that is in bed with creeps like Google

I don’t defend bad science. My main mentor was one of the best scientists I knew and I owe him nothing less than rhe best a mediocre “far left radical feminist crazy person” who is all “me me me” unlike the humble and douchey I mean awesome Kent Anderson

I really hate that self conscious humping of Retraction Watch to tell all other scientists how virtuous you are.
And usually those are people who have no problem with the rest of this shit system.

Yeah fuck that. I am self correcting my work. I trust mt colleagues and most doctors and think Kent Anderson can go fuck himself. Gee why doesn’t anyone like jfz9580m?

Can you imagine this collection of sleazy creepy toad eating douches having access to your interior? That’s hell.
It’s not Yasha’s spectacle.,


But we need to preserve the best people, not attack people like Dr Fauci and instead attack this money grubbing, toad eating Kent Anderson type.

We need to support MeToo feminism not girlboss feminism instead of “nuance” attacking women anew.
I was never for attacking random men going around having meltdowns of their own.
But actual creeps and misogynists and these intrusive and prying systems filled with extortionate bullies that attack people they can get away with attacking or people where attacking them actively helps maintain the status quo but quickly rehabilitating creeps and wealthy frauds

That’s not cool. And I was thinking of a Zeno’s paradox post by PCInterb and thinking I like the idea of infinity in a way. Not insanely but we are so regressive as a society that without constantly staying ahead of an evolving creepy neoliberal right wing thing with no priorities and ensuring that only the worst things survive ..

Probably everything is doomed but one has to at least try.
It is best this stuff spills out here.

In a world filled with people monetizing everything ..I have really diy learnt lefty stuff like Abbie Hoffmans “Steal this book” or about Emma Goldman. Not in any depth but to figure out how to make sense of a world where everything is so depressingly mercenary or creepy.

It’s why Yasha Levine or Nathan Robinson or DU, the places clean ..or clean enough for me..I don’t do purity stupidly
But not selling shit for money or in sleazy self serving ways at a time when so much of democracy is under attack and ghastly faux populist shit,
I liked that Alex Galbraith piece. I have never made money from my anything but publicly funded research and a piddly amount at that. An eecs dept fleeced me as did the sleazy hospital at my last workplace. My parents were public servants with pensions and I am a childfree only child. And I moved back to my country in the global south. These are the only reasons I could manage to persist in completing this paper on my terms and rejecting what is almost certainly a stupid and creepy AI agent that was with me.
Some time in 2019 when I finally regretfully concluded that I had been wrong about one of my data sets and was mentally composing and embarrassed email to my old mentor, I went back to my computer and my t-tests in my graphing and analysis software was broken. It’s not schizophrenia and it was not a coincidence. At the time I thought it was some stalkerish human who had hacked my computer. Just recently it made sense that that was probably one of those stupid creepy AI agents/
It’s been like that for 14 years/ this shitty trashy tech and other ill conceived garbage AI and human experiments

Like what pathetic human would sign up for that disgusting sexist shithole Stanfords 100 years of AI experiment? And Google is outright malpractice and misconduct as is all this other crap
Eventually I will find people at the NIH I trust to abort the whole thing so none of the pis I met at any point are affected. I have never met a pi who was sleazy or creepy.
I personally think that any tolerance of Google is stupid and gullible and that any pi who works in publiclt funded science and doesn’t see a coup by those data miners and defence contractors has somewhat broken politics and worse where they may get some funding like that themselves..it’s myopic since this Maha maga brigade that does that kayfabe with the technofascists will yell “deep state” and then they passively will agree by staying silent that people like me are crazy and far left while these guys loot the place and that’s stupid and short sighted


No ori replacement from google or the bogus kind of open science which is lameass internet histrionics and sleuthing and spectacles rather than genuine solidarity with your colleagues at the bottom who try over rushing to rehabilitate the next creep or guessing using mob mood

Scientists should want a civilized society.


The left which I was always secretly sympathetic to while trying ineffectively to pass for moderate, has given me a real backbone and I am grateful for that.
It’s going to be hard ahead but it’s a good sign when people fight as much as they can with what resources they can. It’s not very like me to be this vociferous and so ..it’s not shit tech or another superficial thing. But it is a good sign and you all need it and they should be told to shove it..people like Kent Anderson.
I mean he is a total random
But my point is like the vaccines where they deprioritized the worst off people, with all these data leaks etc and creeps like Zuckerberg wanting to normalize data leaks

This hostage situation with this administration and creeps like Musk whose dad is accused of pedophilia and musk himself has sexual harassment allegations..
I have been dealing with so much violating crap for years/ but no one I care about is compromised and nor am I


But I would totally expect the next move by these guys to be using data leaks in ways that trigger chaos and unrest and it’s up to us to attack serious issues and not pile on when it is a bad joke etc.
I have bounced back from my sleazy former employers attack and plan to take the war into their camp. Not my mentor ..he was merely annoying.
But definitely the psychiatric department at that school, the shoddy irb and ties to Google and defence contracting in general

I think that’s it for now/ I hope to only be back Jan 1, 2027 by when I hope this paper is finished and I supplement low quality work with mediocre work to round out my portfolio before attacking all parties involved in these creepy and stupid human science experiments who should be attacked.

I never even meet them. One unfortunate part about being a barely veiled militant feminist type is these really creepy guys kinda avoid you but you can feel their effects in your life. I think some decent men are confused about feminism. I met this one psychiatrist out in ca who was a decent man and got that I was mentally not unwell and got that the institution was a pos. But i think he thinks those entitled and awful Sheryl Sandberg types out there are feminists. They are not.

No feminist could stand those men. They are women who are for these stupid social media wars thst lead to trump being elected so no real rules and regulations ever come up but a bogus version of woke with no substance can be used to attack women men and reality. They are all about mobbing.

Actual feminists are only scary to creeps and men attacking women’s rights not all men. Priorities..it’s these men who try to pretend that data science AI etc are not just skewed male, they are skewed creepy and sexist male..since these are such in democratic fields

The people I met at my last horrible employers shithole who went on to become data scientists were the better and more decent types of data scientists. But the field overall is filled with people normalizing the shit google and Facebook do and that’s all about control and poor data hygiene and it’s not cool.

MeToo showed the extent of creepiness bts and that’s not environment in which to trust random men and I don’t trust the creeps here.

They are making society creeper all the time.its not like routine life
It’s human behavior that is either deliberately conspiratorial nor decent. It’s somewhere in between and it degrades all time

This shouldn’t be this hard to communicate but people in those fields and their shills control the narrative and keep normalizing more and more excesses and it raises the bar so high on anyone trying to work decently in this environment. And that’s okay but then the corollary is no mercy for the low bar creeps.

Do the right thing instead of always worrying about image and impression and calling out people who fight these things as “me me me narcissists etc while championing the people who are narcissists

I am always attacking the people at the very top or if not at that level..whatever Kent Anderson is..what a douchebag that guy is.

I am not attacking DUers or randoms

I may not entirely stay offline. I don’t buy into shit like internet addiction AA style. I just didn’t want it to take time away from work at this point and I had to rant this out
It’s going to end up being a long legal conflict because it has to be. It affected my livelihood and health and still does and I don’t have a future as an influencer or someone making bank from the worst experiences of their life

Which means I have to work to fight all these tech companies here and maybe it will help you over there. But it started there and I don’t know who it is here and I’d want to get that info from those assholes there.
That aside I’ll try a semblance of a normal life. Outside of these rants which I don’t even know who can see since I feel trapped in an endless CS experiment of some sort.