Writing

Well..Prof Hennessy. This is online now or will be at some point if I am in some sort of cryptography experiment.

If it ever is, I really hope that no one connects it with my actual real world identity except a few people who are aware of it at all. I have voluntarily disclosed my identity (well voluntary is very dicey inside this because there are almost no optimal things in this) to only around 4 people (really five..I never forget elad though he is very silent..I don’t think he has ever posted..he is vegan..he is probably one of us!)

I did voluntarily share my identity with: Yasha Levine/Evgenia Kovda, Chris Ketcham (he is one of us..it was cool coming across more of one’s actual..as these corporate guys would put it..the types of people who are one’s uniformly unpopular “non-brand”), Ed Zitron and of course EarlG/elad.

The only two other people I can think of whom I follow and might contact at some point are: Matt Stoller (this is definitely technological malfeasance, but is this an anti-trust issue per se when I am as worried about a series of small creepy “little guy” defense contracting firms as your own foul Google?
It is something I have thought about in this period with this style of tech rollout and Stoller might understand.

In this specific diseased environment where there is literally no product or service one would use or want, a giant might be easier to hold accountable than some sort of small creepy defense contractor, who after all the requisite sexual harassment and fraud vanishes. And I will almost certainly write to Troy Farah eventually as he covers drug policy and should know about this disaster. As should Alec Karakatsanis. Because I agreed with Prof David Golumbia on Joy Buolamwini and think that sports billionaires like Clare Wu and reality show stars like Kim Kardashian, Zuckerberg and his moll and your Google creeps are the worst people to be allowed to dictate changing policies on drug overuse.
I don’t want this self-loathing filled “we are all sinners.” I have more confused views on anyone decent working with this unwieldy mess).


You know Prof Hennessy, thanks to your stunningly blase managerial style my relationship with human society has changed..

You Prof Hennessy should be grateful to my mom for raising me to have weathered even you.

You put me in a very difficult position and I have an obligation to communicate what is essential.

I have really felt the influences of indirect forces that profoundly impact one’s life directly more than most. Probably the most profound and life changing experience was Yasha Levine and Evgenia Kovda and Chris Ketcham.
But Ketcham is a pretty familiar type to me. That is most of the few people Ihave this innate and deep sympathy with.

When you threw this curveball at me, I was truly confounded. Because it is all about politics and in a very dire and personal way.

And I have only this one final political message to all sides: cut it out. I have been in your position (shitposting about various randoms upthread) and terrified of you. All of you.
Behind a keyboard, you do a lot of damage.
And you should be careful there. There is no guarantee that if you are following some sort of carefully curated, perfectly predicted (🤮…a notion so stupid that only Prof Hennessy’s acolytes believe it) you will be on the “right of history” and that is terrible motivation.
You would be better off trying to be the best of whatever you are. Because you are probably something that has more value than you understand in your haste to turn yourselves into these idiots who are popular online or celebrities etc. These are terrible things to aspire to be ans during a severe crisis in my life, I could not count on any of you to be sane.

It is not elitism. You are all really crazy. In groups you do things you never would alone.

Thanks to Prof Hennessy..I have had to wade into these areas with no familiar people except Yasha Levine and Chris Ketcham.
And you Americans are a very psyoped populace left or right. And these guys here in India are a different kind of crazy.
The crazy is the shared part. But each uniquely awful in its own way.

I am going to file overtime a detailed, consistent and methodical complaint in keeping with the seriousness of the whole.

One reason this is happening this way is..well I honestly always thought you are all crazy and I continue to think that.
But it is not personal if that counts.

I am crazy too. In a different way. I cannot let Prof Hennessy define me. He would not even mean it maliciously. I could never understand guys like him. That was the thing about my main mentor. He is not a dull or vanilla person in anyway. But the landscape of decisions and predictions (to borrow labguage from those people…who talks like that? I will give them a prediction and tell them where to stick it) he works with..

But the main point here is one Bob Dylan made..”Everything is broken”. And as someone who finds the biological sciences way more appealing than these lame and pathetic lumps of metal and plastic drearily hyped up..such garbage. I guess destruction of critical thinking gets you here.

I want to make this more minimal and elegant. My terrible track record I blame on EECS 2000-2001 (hey you are not supposed to just pocket the money when no one is looking and toss away your responsibilities as educators and years later huff about how stupid society is. I get to huff about that since you are part of what is stupid and you are up top like that guy Sebastian Thrun. Yeah really Prof Hennessy..I have this much Stockholm Syndrome wrt you as the only person ever affiliated with Google who doesn’t make me puke with how insincere and full of shit they are. You otoh I intuit have a lop-sided worldview.) and on Prof Hennessy’s Google adjacent Reefer Madness psych hospital.

A few things I can contribute here are as a female scientist are: 1) In the areas of drafting sexual harassment guidelines comprehensive enough for this outrageous Si Valley/clueless sweatshop implementation that will not work; 2) marijuana law reform without caving to Blackstone, billionaire funded “prison reform” and 3) Open science and open societies but some sort of sane way. I have been cut off from my colleagues and I don’t like that. That was my favorite part about how my main mentor ran his lab. Everyone was truly equally valuable. It was even often a white and male crowd, but just as being female and nonwhite shape who I am, but do not change a full and immutable personality I have that is not just shaped by circumstances I have no control over or other people.

The hardest part of this was feeling some anonymous and like this person who is for some sort of prototype for bulk produce that is disgusting to me.

As a final seal of my contempt for this entire thing I was looking at this creepy site called redtube where all sorts of very not underage people have sex and it really is just piles of human flesh. It is like a factory farm for humans. The net is disgusting. It is one giant human science experiment, but conducted largely sleazily, irresponsibly and creepily.

You have a bullshit job like say Sebastian Thrun does. So you teach a bunch of people some code and ask them to take a scammy class at this scammy Knight (hey come on! I have artistic license!) school and learn how to kidnap random pot users and exploit every stereotype to keep this obviously bogus cash flow going. Then you have the obligatory wife snd and 12 to 15 children and after sexually harassing the various women who work for, go about their lives etc and finally you watch porn online and shill a “reputation management for creeps who looked at porn online” business for a time when shame hopefully comes back, leaving this clueless creep behind.

A big part of the problem here is that a lot of stuff that is neatly divided along left and right lines (where personal stakes do not come in) is more about which type of grift is actually ruining the world more (right more than left) and how it works.

I take care to see that nothing is conveyed here that is ultimately pointless and has no connection to anything sane.

But how to go about explaining something simple about how the world truly works with, as I see it, a smaller amount of true malice as opposed to mindboggling levels of stupidity. It comes down to whether you see life through the eyes of a scammer or not.

I think a lot about Prof Hennessy. He is actually a perfect antagonist, because I am almost certain he is not a bad or malicious man. He is not an honest man because his insights into human nature is not hard won by experience so much as Google data mining. That is a separate matter. But he is not honest with himself. Good god…imagine liking computers that much..

I have never had any interest in computers. Computers like phones are the dullest tech “toys” I can think of. Like that Prof Ryan Williams..he loves computers. I still don’t get it. Maybe being Indian, but not in CS, people who flock to CS do seem to not think much. Otoh most peopel seem to not think much.

I see local media shill types talk about a “demographic dividend”..ie more of these pointless jobs where doxxing is a service?

What is this obsession with large human nimbers by the same people who value each individual human minimally?

I would like to posit a hypothesis..where human life is overabundant, the overall dynamics seem to work to reduce the value of individual human lives.

That is why I cannot allow this stuff locally to continue like this, or escape consequences.
And I won’t be forced into some sort of scammy verification that is all hyperscale and batch processing. But I am not sort of princess. I just can see where these guys are taking society and I cannot imagine being pacified.

But as someone with a high (!) background of disorder in my personal and professional life, I cannot combine that with Si Valley’s predatory disorder and scammy entertainment and other conglomerates. This is not going to work on ky street, in my home etc here in India.
I would not in general work with most here locally who signed on for this. They would be people I would avoid.

I can’t tell what Prof Hennessy’s deal is. He must process the world in a way I cannot comprehend. But locally or with Indians or women I can tell when someone is cool.

I remember reading about this guy years ago and noting him as the right type of person:

https://m.economictimes.com/magazines/panache/volkswagen-whistleblower-says-he-erred-in-trusting-gm-not-circulating-his-cv-after-2018-layoffs/articleshow/70121530.cms

https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Hemanth-Kappanna

Hemanth Kappana..he came back to India a long time back - he was fired for being honest about Volkswagen’s bullshit emissions ratings.

He is also pretty low profile which I consider a hallmark of trustworthiness. I don’t trust people who court attention. Some sort of pathological shyness is daft.
But the point is that theatre and bullshit seriously hobble work in any meaningful sense.

That is what baffles me about Prof Hennessy. He is unambiguously shrewd ..he must be..I remember the one class I took on Processors in undergrad and it was kinda boring like most engineering (as opposed to physics which is always interesting if hard..it is about how the world works..Not making some dumb ipad that creeps watch porn on while shrilly insisting that it “contributes to growth”. Man..I bet Warren Hern would have even more hypotheses about the most interesting kinds of data patterns these guys ignore:




Monday the 23rd, I shall formally get back on track. I hope I can run outside in my own yard without creeps stalking one on the street as if it is a game. And these guys are not representative of India anymore than the assholes over in the US are representative of Americans.

I sort of crashed in the Dec of 2011, four months into this new job that was hell.


I suppose I will have to carve out a new identity where I am neither a public figure nor a private person the old way. I so wanted to go back to that. But verified as an anonymous human. Iow the classic DUer. But not bulk processing etc.

It is shameful for India to back a bunch of sleazy business types with no products or services but piracy and hijacking of other people’s spaces and lives.

This was hideously punitive. But well..I really found it hard to be my old self, but hopefully that changes.
I would remember a few main timepoints I guess aside from Sept 5, 2011 and Halloween 2011: sometime mid Dec 2011. I remember that day and thinking about Jon Stewart just before my brain went “Okay time to dissociate”.
On Feb 26, 2026, a cousin I trust told me about Blackstone having acquired our local hospital.
She is cool..she is the right type of person along with many others in my family to co-own property with.
Her husband even was in an earlier non scammy take on tuitions.

That stuff out in Ca and these guys here and their politicians and industries are unrealistic.
There are checks and balances in human society that retain the structure of the world I knew which existed because of lots of basically honest people who don’t just cave.

One ot the things I always found non intuitive about America especially and about people who pay far too much attention to stories ans narratives much like their inane counterparts who focus only on statistics, is this narrative or story about who you are, where you are going, why and perhaps most confoundingly how.

A mix of the an understandable and coherent narrative about reality bolstered by stats and facts, would be essential for humans to grasp something is personally relevant. And to understand outliers and the forces that result in them.

I have always been allergic to histrionics. The few people I follow or pay attention to in or outside science represent a few platonic forms. They are already the best version of some ideal. Otoh I am still trying to figure out where science takes one from here. But certainly humans are more important than ever. But I am not entirely opposed to tech. But whstever it is, it should not ge a worse deal than the one I had in 2008. That wasn’t even that long back.