Mental Health Support

If forgiveness doesn't work, flee. Put it behind.

Revenge or schadenfreude have rarely worked out for me.

Well, schadenfreude maybe once... there was this kid in middle school who used to torment me. He beat me bloody a few times. His dad was a tough guy and he was a tough guy. My middle school identity was science geek "queer-bait." I was a skinny, squeaky, clumsy, clueless, and a highly reactive kid. Picked last for sports. This guy got an "A" in Physical Education. All I got an honorable mention for "trying" and a "C" for mostly staying out of trouble. I'd wear the pink and violet P.E. uniform when I forgot my own. (Heh. I solved that problem in high school by never taking my P.E. uniform home to be washed... by the end of the year it was stiff and smelled bad. Maybe one of the many reasons I decided to quit high school.)

So this middle school bully and I crossed paths years later. He was the boy-toy of an older professional woman.

I'd "grown up" to be taller than he was, stronger than he was, I had my kids with me, and I was happy.

But Good God, I was a gentleman. His lady friend sparkled to hear the better things of his past. Like he and I were old school chums. The poor guy's expression moved from terror when he first saw me to eternal gratitude as we all chatted.

On the other hand there are people I avoid, people who hurt me badly. It's not about forgiveness, psycho-babble" avoidance, or anything like that. It's just dark empty places, holes in my life I don't want to fall into again.

Best one can do is solve the problems and then forgive one's self. After that forgiving others is much easier.