Mental Health Support

HereSince1628

(36,063 posts)

4. If holding a grudge bothers you, yes. Otherwise...not so much.

Thu Oct 24, 2013, 05:05 PM

Oct 2013

A few months ago, I realized my older brother (by six years) modeled my parents behavior.

I don't forgive him for that, although I understand how he came to bad behavior.

One day while he was baby sitting me while I was 6-7 he hit me, actually punched me in the face, for 'not obeying him', he knocked out 2 teeth, broke a 3rd, and the force of the mis-mash of broken enamel and dentine cut my gum to the bone. The bone stayed exposed for 3 years...until an elementary "Dental Hygiene Day" resulted in my parents being called into the school to explain why they accepted the trauma as a part of my natural childhood...the delay took out 2 more teeth.

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This message was self-deleted by its author [View all] Tobin S. Oct 2013 OP

This message was self-deleted by its author libodem Oct 2013 #1

No, and I don't think I can. elleng Oct 2013 #2

That's okay, ellen Tobin S. Oct 2013 #5

Thanks, Tobin. elleng Oct 2013 #7

Bitter is my middle name now. Denninmi Oct 2013 #3

Maybe so Tobin S. Oct 2013 #6

If holding a grudge bothers you, yes. Otherwise...not so much. HereSince1628 Oct 2013 #4

It depends on what you mean by forgiveness. easttexaslefty Oct 2013 #8

I agree. I forgive for me TexasBushwhacker Oct 2013 #11

understanding maybe mopinko Oct 2013 #9

Yes, it's crucial BainsBane Oct 2013 #10

Ditto ifyousayso Dec 2013 #12

I have tried and I can't. Wish I could. But it's not happening. n/t auntAgonist Dec 2013 #13

It's something you do for yourself, not others. hunter Dec 2013 #14

The only person I have had trouble forgiving is my mother's No Vested Interest Dec 2013 #15

It may not be necessary or even possible to forgive. Tobin S. Dec 2013 #16

You are , of course, correct, Tobin. No Vested Interest Dec 2013 #17

If the person in question hasn't tried to become a better person, then it's not worth it. Neoma Dec 2013 #18