RFK Jr.: 'Time In Hot Cars Helps Babies To Sweat Out Toxins' [View all]

Published: February 17, 2026

WASHINGTON—In a new claim challenging traditional pediatric norms regarding infant safety, Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. announced Tuesday that being left in a hot car could “help babies sweat out toxins.” “Roll up the windows, park in a sunny spot, and let the sun do its magic—in a couple hours, your baby will have all the toxins flushed from its system,” said Kennedy, who leveled criticism at mainstream medical professionals for inflating the dangers of leaving a baby in a hot car and totally ignoring the multitude of health benefits.

“Doctors love to tell you statistics about how it’s dangerous to leave a baby locked in a 110-degree car, but they’re distorting the facts to serve their own narrative. What they don’t tell you is how detoxified and refreshed those little ones feel afterwards. Even just one hour in a hot car can have a huge impact on most babies.” Kennedy went on to state that organ failure and seizures while in the car were signs of poisonous substances leaving the infant’s body.

https://theonion.com/rfk-jr-time-in-hot-cars-helps-babies-to-sweat-out-toxins/

SATIRE