Who would tell the world that they snorted cocaine off a toilet seat?

It becoming so hard to tell nowadays.

Until I confirmed it was, in fact, the Onion.

until I saw the Onion mentioned in a comment subject line.

I mean, the guy is a kook ... who knows what crazy shit attributed to him is real or satire?

Altho I admit to being relieved, for the sake of defenseless babies, that this was made up.

from doing it anyway.

The Director of Health and Human Services said so!

He reminds me of...

Does anybody remember that hideous cartoon character, "Munchie Melon"? There was a coloring book, I can transfer an image of it but if you search for it you can see what I mean. He looks like Munchie Melon!

My younger siblings had a copy of the coloring book that someone gave them. My brother and I, somewhat older than the three younger, saw this hideous thing one day and somehow ended up laughing ourselves silly over it and decided it was to scary for our three younger siblings! I don't know if we let them have it or not but we laughed about it for years.

rfkjr looks like that cartoon character.

Just sayin' (Entertainment purposes only.)

It’s a poor man’s sauna .

“Doctors love to tell you statistics about how it’s blah blah blah blah blah, but they’re distorting the facts to serve their own narrative."

If Wormy announced that strangling people to death eased their stress levels and lead to weight loss...I wouldn't think it was the ONION.

You can't parody absurdity.

to really believe this!

AI -“Yes, people do sometimes use a parked car as an impromptu sauna by leaving it in direct sunlight with the windows rolled up (or mostly closed) on a hot day. This is a real thing discussed online—Reddit threads, TikTok videos, YouTube hacks, and articles describe it as a "free" or "DIY" sauna alternative, especially in summer when exterior temperatures hit 80–100°F+ (27–38°C+). The greenhouse effect inside a closed car can rapidly push interior temps to 120–140°F (49–60°C) or higher within minutes to an hour, causing heavy sweating similar to a traditional sauna session.

Some folks report doing short sessions (e.g., 10–20 minutes) after workouts for recovery, claiming it helps with relaxation, detoxification through sweat, or heat acclimation (like racecar drivers training for hot cockpits). There are even extreme examples, like Estonians converting old cars into actual wood-fired saunas with chimneys and sound systems.”

Everything unimaginable is possible. Damn!!!

Thank you milestogo for being explicit that it was satire, although I am sure I would have realized it when I saw the link, but nonetheless, we are in such a low that anything crazy like that could easily be true.

Things are so bad that the satire is all too
believable, especially where bobby the k is the subject of the "article".

Last edited Wed Feb 18, 2026, 10:28 AM - Edit history (1)

I was already sputtering mad by the time I saw the link, at which point I sputtered even more at having been "Onioned".

I mean let's face it - if it's Bobby, it's believable, no matter how outrageous.

Someone upthread in effect asked L'Oignon to have mercy. There's the end times and the Wit's End Times. Feels like we're in 'em.

n/t

Will we ever be normal again??

I was about to post that we should put RFK Jr into a hot car,
along with all other MAGGOTS, to 'sweat the toxins out of HIM'
before I saw it was The Onion....


The thing he recently said about "snorting cocaine off of toilet seats"
SHOULD HAVE BEEN The Onion..... but it WAS NOT.....

this time.

And I’m not even kidding.

Life in the US is now beyond satire....

... this is good satire.

a satirical piece like this -- and readers can find it believable -- says much about the public's trust in RFK Jr's reputation.