General Discussion

Kid Rock you already know.

Gabby Barrett is a country singer. She was a third-place finisher on American Idol. I don't remember where I saw this one, but somebody wrote something that's way too true: "Nothing says 'rock and roll!' like winning a karaoke contest." And nothing says "country!" like coming in third in one. I went to YouTube and watched a couple of her videos. One of them sucked so bad it drew eleven inches of mercury on my vacuum gauge. The other one drew twenty-five. If I would have known about Gabby beforehand I wouldn't have had to spend $45,000 of my company's money on a new vacuum pump when the old one went out.

Lee Brice is another country singer. One of his songs is "I Drive Your Truck." Sorry guys, this isn't nearly as much fun as "I Drink Your Milkshake." "I Drive Your Truck" is about a guy who honors his brother, a soldier who died in battle, by driving his old pickup - because as everyone knows, if you don't need to down a fistful of antidepressants after listening to a country song the singer wasn't trying hard enough.

Brantley Gilbert seems to be the answer to the question, "why don't y'all have any gospel singers in your halftime show?" He has six albums in print: A Modern Day Prodigal Son, Halfway to Heaven, Just As I Am, The Devil Don't Sleep, Fire and Brimstone, and So Help Me God.

My recommendation is to put the Charliefest on your computer screen but mute the audio, then put a copy of Ghost's "Ceremony and Devotion" on your CD player and crank it the fuck up. (If you've never heard it, every song on that album is satanic and they're not even slightly subtle about it.)

Yeah...I'll be watchin' Bad Bunny. And since it'll probably take them until Saturday to plow out Bowman Gray Stadium to the point they can run the Clash and the Seahawks are going to stomp the Patriots worse than they stomped the Broncos in Super Bowl 48, it's going to be an awesome sports weekend.