GREENVILLE, DELAWARE (The Borowitz Report)—Former President Joe Biden said on Wednesday that “he can’t wait” for Jake Tapper to publish a scathing book about Donald J. Trump’s glaring mental decline.

“Jake hasn’t announced that he’s working on a book like that, but I’ll bet you anything he is,” Biden said. “He’s the master of this genre.”

Given Trump’s innumerable episodes of slurred speech, incoherent ramblings, and daytime narcolepsy, Biden predicted that “Jake must be writing one helluva long book.”

“I was feeling kind of sorry for Trump when I pictured him reading Jake’s book,” the former president said. “But then I remembered that he can’t read.”