Cable News Clips

more people in the south than Abe Lincoln. That puts you in the number one position! Be proud of it. Even your family hates you - only they don't say it to your face. Even Puty can't claim that more Ukrainians hate him than Americans hate You. What an achievement - and in such a short time period. You will be remembered in the Guinness Beer Company book of Records as the "Most Hated Man on Earth". Even the Martians dislike you. Nobody, that's right, nobody is hated more by non-existing Martians than you are. Kahn in Star trek hated you more than he hated Captain Kirk. How's that for a record!

Stand proud on your greatest achievement in life. You will be remembered forever by all children who are told to be good or they will be hated almost as much as Donnie was when he was alive! For time immemorial, people will be putting up statues of you for pigeons to crap on, pictures of you to use as targets, and will name weeds after you. "That's the Donnie weed! It will destroy anything!" Even the Triffids will be jealous.

Cities everywhere will be building taller and taller dumps in your honor and name the Sewer Treatment Plants after you. How many people can claim that honor! The Germans and Soviets will be proud that they no longer are remembered for their former leaders and the Huns will claim you as one of their own.

Who else besides you has a planet named after them, Your Anus.