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She fell violently ill Friday night and had to be put down as she was vomiting non-stop and it looked like blood. She had grown weak and was maybe 7 lbs. at the most.

I'm a mess needless to say for she had been with me through thick and thin, bedridden ---> recovery.

I'll never know if I did enough, did the right thing, did the wrong thing or what.

I think I found the name of what was ailing poor sweet Julie - vestibular disease which is found in both cats and dogs.

This vestibular disease is horrific, like something out of a bad nightmare.

>>What causes it?

We do not fully understand why feline vestibular disease occurs in many cases. Conditions such as middle- and inner-ear infections are common causes of the disease. Tumors are a less common cause but must be considered, especially in older cats. Exposure to certain toxins or drugs can also cause symptoms that mimic feline vestibular disease. The vast majority of cases are diagnosed as idiopathic, meaning the exact cause isn't known.

The cause of feline vestibular disease is not fully understood.

Siamese and Burmese breeds have been associated with an inherited or congenital form of the disease. Many affected cats are also deaf.

Note: Julie was a stray domestic short haired cat, certainly not a Siamese nor a Burmese but this is interesting info. in any event.

and ...

>>The signs of vestibular disease in cats can be quite alarming to owners, who often believe their feline friend is having a stroke. These signs include:

Vocalizations that may sound anguished
Rolling around on the floor
*A head tilt to one side
Nystagmus, or eyes that oscillate back and forth
*Leaning against walls or furniture in order to walk
*Falling down
*Vomiting
*Seeming "out of it"

* = symptoms Julie had that make me think she had vestibular disease

Sometimes, if both ears are affected, the head may not be tilted much and the kitty may not want to move at all. Affected cats are most certainly as puzzled by these sudden occurrences as we are.

My poor girl was scared to death and my other two cats that are brothers began to groom her and lick her head as they knew she was very ill. They do not understand where she went and are still crying for her. Otherwise the silence around here is deafening.

Note: Julie came to me from the local shelter and was very sick and managed to conceal it. I got home with her and that first night she was vomiting up some sort of large parasite and was sneezing. She was so excited about being adopted that she attempted to hide these problems from me but I figured it out pretty fast after that first night.

The shelter told me to bring her back and pick out another kitten. I told them no way as I knew they'd put her down if I were to take her back there. I isolated her from the other two cats I had at that time and they managed to contract the respiratory illness but did recover from it fortunately. That was 10 years ago almost. I stuck it out with her and it seems she had some sort of unidentifiable parasite living inside of her and after months of treatments, it was finally a broad spectrum wormer used on cattle and horses that killed the mysterious parasite.

She grew up to be a fine, beautiful cat, a tuxedo tabby is what she was. She had delicate white paws and a white tuxedo for a chest. She was a loving sweet cat that used to talk to you and chirp. When she was ultra-happy, she used to whistle at you believe it or not.

I miss her so and feel very alone and rather desperate I must admit.

Thanks for the comments/ideas and help. I do appreciate it.