The Universe really has my back and I guess since I was more in a threatened/protection state things were more dark gray than black ... but I will say I am amazed at how well it all worked. Sometimes channeled trauma is a powerful energy.
She was supposed to come with a standby on thrusday to get some stuff, but couldn't make it past the first turn into our neighborhood. She ironically called one of my friends (who was already here to hold my hand) and asked her to grab a couple bags and bring it to the officer's car cuz she was having a panic attack. So now she's gone...away from Tahoe, in a shelter in Sacramento, and has no intention of fighting the divorce (my friends served her too) so it's DONE. and she never crossed the threshold 
I am ok, processing. The college I got to hooked me up with an amazing counselor who is actually a meduim and now three sessions in we're not just doing traditional trauma work (big and deep) but she's helping me remember me energy tools to clear my aura of her cords etc...
This is a very long road of really digging deep into my whole family's history with verbal and emotional abuse and abandonment... and I have already been able to apologize to (one at least) adult kid and apologize for my issues that may have shaped their life/emotions differently instead of healthy. This is very generational, of course...many families have shit like this going back to the early 1900's or more. And I guess I signed up to be the generational healer.
Today I'm continuing little efforts to reclaim and clear every corner... and I dug out some of my old handouts from a class from years ago. So I can re-learn some of the energy practices to keep me clear and grounded.
so far, so good.
Thanks for letting me vent and process here without judgement. :hugs:
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