Pets

She was, technically, not born as a feral. But, she was born into the dysfunctional human family of a co-worker of mine that operated as every one for themselves. Her mother's human used to "play" very roughly with Ember instead of holding her to socialize her. Ember was attacked inside their home by an older half sibling when she was only 6 weeks old. The family dog rescued her.

When I first got Ember home, she hissed and bit when I tried to pet her. It took a month before she trusted that being touched could be a good thing. She has come a long way since then. But she seems to have reached her limit of trust and relaxation. She sets boundaries that she can deal with while at the same time craving the level of affection that she can handle.

Her early life seems to have imprinted on her an instinctual resistance to being confined and unable to escape if necessary. She is always hyper alert to sounds and movement, even while getting petted and kissed by me.

But one night a few weeks ago was very touching. Ember had curled up on my bed and fallen asleep there, apparently waiting for me. But I fell asleep on the couch watching a movie. Around 3 am, I woke up to anguished, frightened meows. (Ember is usually very non vocal.) I called out her name and she rushed onto the couch, smothering me with face rubs and licks. She actually snuggled very close up to me for a few moments, until she calmed down and started purring. Then she was back to her usual head burying from a safe distance.

I think that when she woke up on the bed alone and didn't know where I was, she panicked. Hearing my voice and feeling my presence reassured her. Despite her self-imposed boundaries, she has bonded with me.