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Ancestry/Genealogy

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Lyric

(12,675 posts)
Sun Sep 23, 2018, 04:55 PM Sep 2018

Desperately Seeking my Birth Father [View all]

I have no idea how to make this happen, though. My maternal Grandma claims not to know, though something in my guts makes me feel like she's lying to me. But I can't press her on this, unfortunately; she's very old and her health is frail. The stress of bad memories might hurt her.

I was born in late June of 1979, which means I was conceived in late September through very early October of 1978. The only information that I have to go on are a few things people have told me, that my mother supposedly told THEM. She and my Dad both died relatively young, so I have been a total orphan for 5 years, this year. No parents. No grandparents who actually WANT to see me, no full siblings, most of my extended "paternal" family are either dead, or have disowned me for telling the "Family Secret" in public (a.k.a., They're NOT lily-white. Grandpa Heinze's family is listed as "mulatto" in the 1910 census). For telling the world THAT, my two remaining aunts broke their vows to my Dad JUST to let me know that I have NEVER been a part of their family, and I'm unwelcome pretty much everywhere.

I have never felt so horribly alone in my whole life.

And it just EATS at me that my Dad's family decided to break their vow of secrecy to his poor murdered soul, and tell me the ONE thing that he asked all of his family to SWEAR they'd never tell me. That he truly meant that LITTLE to them. And they didn't even do it for a good REASON. They were just mad at me for revealing that the Heinze family is NOT pearl-white, and wanted to hurt me by revealing that I wasn't REALLY related to the family I had spent my whole life thinking I was a part of.

And my poor son. He's 18 now and struggling with identity issues even worse than MINE, because not only did he just lose half of his maternal family heritage--he was abandoned by his father before even being born, so we know almost NOTHING about his paternal family, either.

I am unbelievably angry with my late Mother right now. She HAD to know that SOMEDAY, my Dad's vicious, gossip-mongering family was going to tell me the truth in the WORST possible way. I HAD A RIGHT TO KNOW! She failed me...failed to protect me. And for all I know, she failed to give a man who might have WANTED me, any I notice that she was even pregnant, or any chance to be in my life.

That is WRONG. Just like every child deserves to know his/her parents, every PARENT deserves to know if they have a child out there. Maybe my biological father would have LOVED me, too. Maybe he was better off, financially, so I wouldn't have grown up in a household full of substance abuses, hunger, fear, and extreme poverty.

Or maybe not. Maybe he wouldn't have wanted me. Maybe he DID know about the pregnancy and deserted my Mom. Since SHE NEVER TOLD ME, I have no way to know what the truth of the matter is! And my Dad's family told me all of this when Mom and Dad are BOTH deceased, and aren't here to defend THEMSELVES, or ME.

Please...if you were friends with Debbora Jo Johnson (deceased) back in the late 70's, and you know of ANYONE she might have been intimate with, even briefly, during the late part of '78....come forward and let know me. My email address is brandywv@outlook.com.

And to help jog memories:

Picture of my mother holding me when I was only 5-6 weeks old (summer of '79):


Closeup of Mom's face back then:


Closeup of Mom's beautiful green eye color--the same as my own.
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Photo of ME:
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Photo of my adult SON:


One source told me that the man who fathered me was a doctor of some kind. I have no idea what that means, or even if it's real, but if it IS real, then HE of all people should understand my desperate need for genetic information and my family medical history.

Her name was DEBBORA JO JOHNSON from the MORGANTOWN, WV area. She was working at Lum's department store while pregnant with me. Please, world. If you know ANYTHING, help me find out who I am?

Cross-posting to the West Virginia forum...

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