Mental Health Support

i never met either of my grandpas, but i gather from a few hints that my dad’s dad was a violent asshole. my mom told a story of leaving my dad w my oldest sister to go grocery shopping. she was pg w #2. when she came home, my sister had a bruise on her butt.
now, my mom was not raised that way. she was a spoiled child, having only 1 brother, instead of the usual big irish family. that grandpa was a sweet and gentle man. i doubt she was ever even spanked.

when mom saw that bruise, she put her foot down. and it mostly stuck until my brother was born. he’s in the middle of 6 girls. dad said- u can tell me how to treat the girls, but no 1 is gonna tell me how to raise my son. i suspect my brother had/has adhd. he did very poorly in school, and quickly killed my dad’s dream that his son wd b a doctor, like he didnt get to b. (the depression ruined that for him.) bro got beaten on the regular.

that shit ran downhill. i’m 5 yrs younger, and i was picked on mercilessly.
my dad either saw his kids as shining stars or invisible losers. i was a star. to this day, 1 of my sisters cant stand me.

i got a couple of spankings in my lifetime. we had a boxer dog that laid down the final line. he was going to spank me, but the dog came up behind him, grabbed his hand, sat down, and almost said out loud, oh no, you’re not. that was the last time he raised a hand to any of us.

all of which is to say, the cycle CAN b broken. sometimes from an unexpected corner.