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Mental Health Support

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OldBaldy1701E

(7,277 posts)
Fri Nov 8, 2024, 07:45 AM Nov 2024

Glad I don't have much longer. (POSSIBLE TRIGGER) [View all]

My country has failed me. I never asked for much of anything. But, it seems that even my small requests were too much for a country that is trying so desperately to win a contest that does not exist.

I did my time in the military. Means nothing. I was always the first person to run towards the scene of an accident. Means nothing. I never did anything to ostracize anyone and tried my best to be a decent person. It all means nothing. I said for decades that the only way to get ahead in the US was to be a soulless animal. Wednesday proved me right in a most spectacular way. I also said that I will certainly fail because I am not a soulless animal. I guess I am in a tiny minority.

Now (meaning the last ten years or so), I am physically falling apart. Now, I am mentally becoming much worse. Now, I am emotionally empty and have no spark of life or even a tiny flicker. Now, I want to avoid the pain and suffering that is inevitable for those like me. I have always said that, although I desperately want to pass on, I lack the courage to take that level of control in my miserable life.

Wednesday just might finally be the catalyst that I need. I could already see the writing on the wall. People like me are an anachronism and it seems even our knowledge is not welcome or desired. So, we have noting but a slow, tortuous descent into the end to look forward to. I always said that I would not just mark time in my existence on this earth... now, thanks to failing at life and failing at health, I can doing nothing else but.

Why was I even allowed to exist in the first place if this was to be the result? How can anyone believe in a deity when we live in such a time and with such heartless and cruel human beings? How can we believe in the principles of our founding document when we live in a society that obviously could care less about justice, equality, the general welfare, etc.?

Why bother?

22 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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You have not failed! You have resisted their efforts to turn you into a soulless animal Walleye Nov 2024 #1
hugggs. I don't have any answers, wish I did. But here if we can help. niyad Nov 2024 #2
Don't let "them" change you. You're a valuable livetohike Nov 2024 #3
Same. zuul Nov 2024 #4
Thank you for your service, and I understand... appmanga Nov 2024 #5
Hugs XanaDUer2 Nov 2024 #6
Maybe you should have bankrupted a few casinos or committed fraud. Ray Bruns Nov 2024 #7
Sarcasm happy feet Nov 2024 #12
Thanks for that, but I found it very funny and ironically true. OldBaldy1701E Nov 2024 #17
I know right? But, as I said, I just cannot be a slime ball. OldBaldy1701E Nov 2024 #19
Ok, just stop! Debo77 Nov 2024 #8
you markie Nov 2024 #9
Yeah, I know. OldBaldy1701E Nov 2024 #20
I understand markie Nov 2024 #10
You absolutely did not fail at life. You are precious. bronxiteforever Nov 2024 #11
The wild thing is that both compassion and a good soul are detrimental in our modern America. OldBaldy1701E Nov 2024 #21
You have my love and respect. multigraincracker Nov 2024 #13
Oh, I feel I value myself okay. OldBaldy1701E Nov 2024 #18
Good, soulful people do not know how to fight sociopaths. ananda Nov 2024 #14
I know and feel your pain OldBaldy Clouds Passing Nov 2024 #15
You are breaking my heart. Don't let yourself be a casualty of the liar. tetedur Nov 2024 #16
Thanks for the replies everyone. OldBaldy1701E Nov 2024 #22
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