Part two, the morning after.... [View all]

https://www.democraticunderground.com/115120188

So I had my stupipd dr appt this morning.

Apparently now that my wife took the anxiety meds she was supposed to be taking since surgery she's fine now and of course full of all the guilt and reframing everything like that was all it was.

I called the women's Center, made the beginning of an intake form on the phone...they want me to come in person this afternoon, but I wont go. All they can do is offer me the same lame services and hotlines. That doesnt change the shit going on in my head or my house.
She gave herself a great shiner, i only have one small bruise showing on my jaw.

One minute she beggin me to talk to her and when I tell her Im still pissed and dont think I can talk rationally and told her I called the DV place, she reminded me how "I" gave her a black eye...

You know, it really sucks when you love someone and they end up manipulating you. Now I'm gonna feel guil;ty for telling her to leave, ands I honestly cant do that while she's in a fucking neck brace a week from surgery...
So now she's "selling everything" so she can have enough money to leave. This is the kinda shit that makes me crazy and pissed.

I don't WANT to feel bad for her. I also dont like the excuse that it was just that one thing and it wont happen because "Im never gonna have surgery again or take those meds..."

I literally feel like I have NOBODY to help me figure out what to do. She's cut me off from my adult kids, my parents are dead, and my two best friends live half a state away....and here's the kicker. I dont wanna tell my best friends because I feel like they are going to say "howo could you let that happen to you again...?" (my ex husband was a peice of work, ironically, his abuse was not physical like this)

The dr gave me therapists numbers and said maybe couples would help.
Called HER best friend in Chicago and she told me to pray on it and that we needed to sit down and rationally talk....told my wife that *I* wanted to talk so when I got home from the Dr she wanted to talk and I'm still pissed and cant get over it.

I'm venting here because I have nobody else to call.