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Mental Health Support

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Model35mech

(2,047 posts)
Tue Jul 16, 2024, 12:43 PM Jul 2024

It shouldn't be like this. Really. I shouldn't take it personal but I did and I still do [View all]

My partner has an appointment for her hair at 2:15 2 hours and 15 minutes from when I came in the door.

I stopped my day at 11:15 this morning to be sure I got back in time.
As I came home, I thought I'd do her a favor... I stopped and got KFC for supper.

So, I pull off the street and into the garage. I do this pretty much every day. This is NORMAL! in my life

I walk to the back door. Three steps in she's yelling at me for putting the car in the garage. (But you know...She doesn't need to leave for her hair appointment until 5-10 minutes before 2) and SHE is the driver who has rubbed the right side of the car on the bricks of the side of the house 7 times in 6 yrs! The repetitive slow learner really ISN'T ME.

This sort of ambush upon coming home happens almost everyday. It's a problem with the printer, or the computer, or she can't find something in her household records, or the doors on the cabinets aren't closing, or the lawn mower wouldn't start, or other shit that suburban adults are supposed to be able to deal with, if only by credit card. And it is too too often that I don't get a chance to walk in and set what is in my hands onto the kitchen counter and take a breath before she's on me. This time, I brought her home carry out because SHE is complaining about doing COMMON THINGS THAT ADULTS DO, like make a meal.

It's come to feel like when I walk in the door I'm advancing into the striking distance of an ambush predator. And I'm just doing what SHE has trained me to do.

I KNEW she had an appointment in a bit more than 2 hours. And the answer from her IS ALWAYS(!) her getting PISSED OFF at me because I'm a sexist who doesn't think that "WOMEN" can back up a car. She insists on backing it, without looking at the video screen on the dash or the side mirroes.

Usually, if the car doesn't go immediately into the garage she's usually on top of my case. If I don't put the garage door down, she's ALWAYS on my case, BECAUSE, don't I know that the black kids from up the street in Milwaukee are going to come and attack the car and the contents of the garage? And SHE thinks she's sensitive to race issues!

We've spent over $3000 on repairs to the body and paint in the past 3 years. So much money that last time I refused to contribute to the fix. I told her there is really NO POINT in repairing what she will only damage again in 6-9 months. She went to the Insureance last time, and they raised the annual charge, by $1000 I get that she CAN'T reliably back up the car.

BUT I also am very tired of being yelled at for leaving the car on the driveway and not closing the garage door.

Being borderline, I'm really on the verge of another episode of taking the scissors to my forearms



33 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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I strongly suggest breaking up with this person. Ocelot II Jul 2024 #1
Ain't likely to happen. If I was 30, maybe. But at 71 NOT. Model35mech Jul 2024 #3
Money versus your health. tazkcmo Jul 2024 #23
At 71, survival cannot be separated from a person's assets. Model35mech Jul 2024 #25
You do you, as they say. tazkcmo Jul 2024 #26
It's ok. I appreciate your desire to help Model35mech Jul 2024 #28
Venting always helps. Even if you only do it in your head. SlimJimmy Jul 2024 #31
Thanks for your grace. tazkcmo Jul 2024 #32
I'm really sorry 😞 FirstLight Jul 2024 #2
This Is Abuse Deep State Witch Jul 2024 #4
My advice is have it out with her tell her how you feel and if she doesn't stop, something is gonna change Walleye Jul 2024 #5
Your boundaries are up to you to set. Think. Again. Jul 2024 #6
Your partner sounds like a bully crimycarny Jul 2024 #7
And you are with her why? flying_wahini Jul 2024 #8
Because I Am The AssHole, I suppose Model35mech Jul 2024 #10
I avoid interaction XanaDUer2 Jul 2024 #33
I'm yelled at constantly XanaDUer2 Jul 2024 #9
I can imagine Model35mech Jul 2024 #11
I'm disabled stuck not having enough XanaDUer2 Jul 2024 #13
I wish your endurance the best Model35mech Jul 2024 #15
Have you tried couples therapy? WhiteTara Jul 2024 #12
Ya, it's all about skills and coping tactics Model35mech Jul 2024 #17
I'm sorry. orange jar Jul 2024 #14
Thanks. I guess I'm looking to dump this feeling so I should apologize Model35mech Jul 2024 #18
No need to apologize. orange jar Jul 2024 #19
I recommend couples therapy, and if she won't do it.. Proud to be Woke Jul 2024 #16
That'd be great if I could toss more than half of my life in a dumpster Model35mech Jul 2024 #21
It sounds to me as if she is very unhappy with herself. It is easier to lash out at you than to look in the mirror. LoisB Jul 2024 #20
Just curious. Is she a heavy drinker? I was married to an alcoholic wife for 15 years. BamaRefugee Jul 2024 #22
No. IMO, her problem is a lot of being a childlike 76 year old Model35mech Jul 2024 #24
When she starts- calmly put your hand up & say, Quakerfriend Jul 2024 #27
Is there anyway you get away from her for a few days? MLAA Jul 2024 #29
I 'could' go sleep in the woods. I don't think I will. Model35mech Jul 2024 #30
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