Mental Health Support

But don't feel you have to initiate or care take her.

IF you think she might kill herself and your siblings, there are anonymous ways to report that. Overheard when walking in the neighborhood, not certain if it's a real issue, but get it on the record.

My family wasn't as bad as yours, but they blamed me for speeding and getting tickets on my Dad's insurance right before I left home for collage. Gaslighting. Now to be honest, I did speed a time or two, just didn't get any tickets. And I did have a friend who "borrowed" our car and actually messed up the tranny by throwing it in reverse before she'd fully stopped. So I wasn't a saint, my friend could have done it. But I even went and got my driving record from the DMV when I went home after my first husband tried to kill me. It showed no speeding tickets going back 7 or 10 years, but covering the time period in question. They said I got my record expunged. AND they kept mentioning it. SO I told them I would not talk to them until they stopped accusing me unfairly of something I had not done.

AND I had friendsgiving etc... I spent my time with people who cared and in therapy and went to Al Anon (first husband was an alcoholic) and ACA (Adult Children of Alcoholics) and just worked on myself.

They eventually caved, but they weren't abusive perse. I had to ask my Mom to actually tell me she loved me first sometimes. It was always "I love both you girls" if prompted and nothing otherwise. She asked me in return to ask before I hugged her. She grew up abused and got triggered by unannounced physical touch. So the last year or two of her life were the best for she and I relationship wise.

Take a break, be good to yourself. Hang out with people who will honestly tell you when you are doing good and when you need to make changes. I have a BFF of over 35 years and a husband she introduced me to that IS NOT like my EX. Not an alcoholic, not abusive. He's still a pain in the ass at times, but MEH.

You deserve joy which derives from inner peace. A lot of our horrible times of despair and sadness deepen the well that our joy eventually flows into. Once I was able to stand up and be assertive without being aggressive and fill up my own spiritual needs, my joy was bigger than most. Because it was more of a contrast; like a bright diamond against a dark black velvet background.

Little things that made me happy felt bigger because I had not let myself feel good before and found things that couldn't be taken away because they were not necessarily attached to "happenings" just JOY. Like sunrises and sunsets. Just taking a moment to appreciate any beauty in the world. My ability to see the good brings me joy.

Other people's opinion of you is actually none of your business. Their opinions say more about them than it does about you.

What matters is what YOU think about YOU.
My first affirmation was, "I AM ME. No apologies."
Accepting who I AM without having to brag or apologize to feel better or worse than another person is a weight off my shoulders.
I simply AM ME. It's the only person I can be and since I AM the only ME I guess I gotta stay busy being true to my own values.

Hope these thoughts help. You are in a hard space, but you already did the hardest part and opened up to others about the pain.
Now there is air around it to help you heal.


Good Job!



Tigress