I apologize to anyone that this might trigger... [View all]

But, I am sure that everything would be better if I just checked out. I won't ever amount to anything. I tried to be a decent person but such people do not survive in our society. I am tired of fighting it. I just do not fit in and am tired of being alone and sitting here with no hope for anything other than a peaceful death... which I hope comes soon.

Sorry, I am just tired of it all. I can hope that my holiday food cheating will catch up with me and finally give me that heart attack I know is coming. Maybe.

I sit alone because life dictates it to be so. Why should I keep on living in such a situation? It makes no sense to me to keep on marking time when my usefulness is over.