Instead of having him pick a chore, list out all the chores and assign him 1/3 for starters showing the remaining 2/3rds are yours. Keep them the same so there is no doubt which chores are his. Do not do them for him. I wouldn’t even remind him. Another thought, start serving his meals on paper plates and don’t throw them away for him. See how his appetite is with dirty paper plates all over his side of the table.
I really wish you the very best and it sure sounds like something has to give for your well being.
Edit: I was thinking my suggestion above might be naive/unrealistic/uncaring given you said he was depressed. Maybe the first step is to continue to try and get him to see a therapist/psychiatrist alone to address the depression. My sister suffers from depression and sometimes finds it very difficult to do even the smallest of tasks.
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