Well, tomorrow I go in to have my shoulder ripped up... again... [View all]

I had finally gotten full movement back. Now, thanks to living in the frozen tundra, I damaged it in January and now have to have the anchor that pulled out when I pulled the tendons removed. (If it had not come out, I could have just waited till the damage re-healed and gone from there. But that is not how my luck works. It never has and it never will.)

I am not doing well right now because I do not do pain. In any way. I have already spoken to the doctor and told him that I am not going to do this until I have assurances that I will be able to get the pain meds that I need. What he may not be ready to deal with is that I plan to walk in with an agreement that he will sign or I will thank him and walk right back out. I am not going to do this again like I did the last time. They gave me X amount of meds and said, "Take ibuprofen or tylenol if you need anything more." I wonder if I should just drive back to the place the moment it starts to hurt again and stand at the door screaming bloody murder until my voice gives out. (as a former singer who used to have to reach 3000 seat amphitheaters with no amplification, I may be in pitiful shape these days, but I can still be very loud when I want to be.)

In short, I am freaking out right now and I want to run out into the rain naked until I die from exposure. But, that would also hurt and as I said before...