Mental Health Support

I had a mother that was difficult to deal with my entire life. She was a smothering critic. I call her the unpleasable mother, as she made me feel that I was not measuring up to her standards, whatever they were. So I understand what you are going through.

There are two books that I have read that I think you could benefit from. They are not current, but both are still relevant in dealing with difficult people. The first is a book about difficult parents: Toxic Parents by Susan Forward. She has also written other books dealing with difficult parents (Emotional Blackmail).

The second book is excellent and gave me alot of insight and clarity into the dynamic between mothers and daughters. That book is: When You and Your Mother Can't Be Friends by Victoria Secunda.

You probably can find both on Amazon.com

I had the opportunity to get some professional help with an excellent MSW (Master in Social Work) who was very helpful in guiding me to work through my difficult relationship with my mother.

In reading your post, it appears to me that your mother is so emotionally damaged that there is no way to communicate with her. In my case, once I realized what the problems were, I minimized the amount of time that I spent with my mother. My mental health demanded that I distance myself from her in order to heal from the emotional damage she inflicted on me. You may want to consider this course of action with your mother to save your sanity.

Keep us posted on what you do and good luck.