Mental Health Support

I’m really sorry about that nasty phone call. None of that was okay and none of it was your fault. Staying in relationship with a narcissist is impossible. Once you see them for what they are, you can’t unsee it.

Forgive my question…but I wonder if your mom isn’t a borderline personality in addition to a narcissist? Your description of the phone call made my chest tighten. My mother was a borderline. Probably a narcissist too but whatever. My mom died in 2009. I never severed my relationship with her but I severely limited our contact. The night I made that decision, I was 40 years old, in labor with my son and my mom showed up at the hospital bombed out of her mind. How she even drove there I don’t know. She was off the rails and made a one woman show of herself. My husband had to leave my side to deal with her and someone, I don’t even know who, drove her drunk ass home.

The next day when she and my dad came to see my infant son, she told me that she was sorry I had a boy and that Sophie, my sister’s daughter, would always be her favorite. It was that moment when I said “no more.” I did what I had to for her over the next 4 years and not one thing more. When she took her last breath I was there at her side but I wasn’t sad. I was exhausted but I didn’t shed a tear.

I believe you will find your way forward with your mom…everyone dealing with a narcissist is on a different path. These people aren’t capable of love and compassion. YOU, however have a right to surround yourself with all the love and compassion available to you. There’s tons of it here on DU.

I wish I could give you a big hug. I’m sorry your birthday was marred by someone who can’t celebrate you because you are deserving.