I was always her mother. [View all]

February 20th was my birthday, I received a card and check from my family. I talk to my mother. Within a few seconds she starts going hysterical--crying and screaming about the shape of the house--dust, needs new rugs, dust again, water dripping from the faucet, dog needing haircut., etc, etc. I have posted on here about my abusive childhood, and emotional damage she has done to my family. I posted that she called my son a bastard, he is adopted. The reason she didn't visit him in Rehab--he's a doper. Slamming the phone down when I corrected her on what really happened. Letting my brother call me a pimple face whore. and beating the shit of me. And on and on. But when push comes to shove, I didn't slam the phone on her. I tried to get her back to reality by saying that I loved her over and over. Never said--you're a bad mother, like she did to me. I asked her if she is taking her pills that the doctor gave her. No. Has she gotten back to the social worker to take care of my dad for a day. No. Her biggest concern was her computer. She spends 3,000 a month gambling on line.
But then I thought back at my life, I was always the one to cook, take care of my siblings., provide her with a listening ear as ranted about my father--even sexual stuff. I have always been her emotional fool and punching bag for my family. The odd thing is I didn't hang up. I'll never break free. Yesterday my psychologist tells me, that he is retiring and I should have received a notice from the clinic . I didn't. He wants the new Doctor to remove me from all the pills I take. Next appointment--7 months.
Just wanted to say, that my mom never did wish me a Happy Birthday, after the call, I took a nap. Sixty eight years of dealing with a malignant narcissist is draining. PS I go sort of no contact except for birthdays and holidays. Thank you for letting me post this.