Mental Health Support

NRaleighLiberal

(60,793 posts)

7. Yes....very challenging - more complex than simply narcissism in my case -

Reply to Tuesday Afternoon (Original post)

Sat Dec 17, 2011, 10:35 PM

Dec 2011

My dad passed away rather suddenly in 2007. It was clear my mom (she is now 83) couldn't stay alone in their house, so she went to assisted living in late 2007, living within a few miles of my brother (that's a story for the Boomers group in itself - my relationship with him has suffered because of his willingness to take on the near-by caregiving role, which he really isn't well suited for)...

Anyway - just an example - on my wife/my 31st anniversary a few weeks ago, my mom called to wish us a happy anniversary - which lasted 5 seconds - then proceeded to spend the next 30 minutes telling me how miserable she is, everything is, etc etc - but the narcissism (which to tell the truth has always been there to some degree) is complicated by coming and going of symptoms of Lewy Body Dementia (the diagnosis of the medical staff at the assisted living facility). She is physically doing very well, but after a long time resistance to accepting her plight (it is an excellent facility), she is still a pretty miserable person to talk to (to listen to, more accurately) most of the time.

My wife and I find ourselves in one of those situations where various family members problems are chipping away at our attempts at staying positive - kind of all pulling us downward - both our daughters, my mom and brother, my wife's sister, and my wife's mom and brother are all struggling. I guess holidays make it worse - but keeping morale up is really a daily battle.

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This message was self-deleted by its author [View all] Tuesday Afternoon Dec 2011 OP

My parents aren't like that, but I've met people like that before. Tobin S. Dec 2011 #1

Tobin, Tuesday Afternoon Dec 2011 #2

IT seems to me that you are not getting the point. MedicalAdmin Dec 2011 #24

Yes. She has always been the way you describe, to a degree, EFerrari Dec 2011 #3

thanks for reading/listening Tuesday Afternoon Dec 2011 #4

Yep. Talking on the phone is mostly listening on the phone EFerrari Dec 2011 #5

yes, you are right -- Tuesday Afternoon Dec 2011 #6

That is exactly like my wifes relationship with her mom. MedicalAdmin Dec 2011 #25

Yes....very challenging - more complex than simply narcissism in my case - NRaleighLiberal Dec 2011 #7

yes, very challenging. My mom is 74 and this past year Tuesday Afternoon Dec 2011 #8

Right back at you, friend! It is a really tough time.... NRaleighLiberal Dec 2011 #9

also, I can relate to your brother because, as the only daughter, I know the care-giving role will Tuesday Afternoon Dec 2011 #11

It is hard - he is in FL, me in NC - we've lived away from each other for many years, NRaleighLiberal Dec 2011 #14

makes the Holiday season challenging to say the least Tuesday Afternoon Dec 2011 #16

Do you remember how on "Everybody Loves Raymond", his parents were kicked out EFerrari Dec 2011 #10

My mom is cagey and clever - I suspect that she comes across very different there NRaleighLiberal Dec 2011 #12

So true! EFerrari Dec 2011 #13

Yes,,,, KarenS Dec 2011 #15

yes, the normal give and take of a relationship. Tuesday Afternoon Dec 2011 #17

I don't know that this is a Mental Health issue postatomic Dec 2011 #18

confusion here because of your subjectline Tuesday Afternoon Dec 2011 #19

Narcissism is a mental health issue Tobin S. Dec 2011 #20

yes, thanks. Tuesday Afternoon Dec 2011 #21

You're in the right place. Tobin S. Dec 2011 #22

you are fine here. mopinko Dec 2011 #23

My apologies postatomic Dec 2011 #31

no, but I have an aging ex-spouse with Narcissistic Personality Disorder who still... grasswire Dec 2011 #26

Yes. My mother probably has narcissistic personality disorder. murielm99 Dec 2011 #27

This message was self-deleted by its author HereSince1628 Dec 2011 #28

If we are talkng about parents, one thing that worked for me to a degree EFerrari Dec 2011 #29

My therapist taught me coping techniques. murielm99 Dec 2011 #33

My mom not only didn't have good boundaries or help me get them EFerrari Dec 2011 #34

Merry Christmas, Tuesday Afternoon! targetpractice Dec 2011 #30

thanks Tuesday Afternoon Dec 2011 #32

My parents are deceased, but I do have an aging, narcisistic sister who just "disowned" me whathehell Jan 2012 #35