Addiction & Recovery

My first AA meeting was in November 2008 and my sobriety date is April 30, 2009. For me it was a learning curve, I gradually slowed down and I credit my sponsor for sticking with me. She was one of my favorite people ever, she wasn't well herself, was on oxygen all the time, her nickname in the rooms was O2 Sue. She took me to meetings and introduced me to people and basically told me what to do.

I lost my mother when I had 2 1/2 years sober and she sat with me at the hospital all night. My mother wasn't ill, she had an accident. When Hurricane Irene came through these parts there was a lot of damage and prolonged power outages. So my mother fell down the stairs in the dark and broke her neck. She spent 3 weeks in surgical intensive care in Albany, where I went every day, then they brought her back up north and disconnected her ventilator which was the last thing I wanted and Sue stayed with me the whole time.

And I wasn't a lifelong alcoholic. I didn't drink in high school or college (where everyone did), but I agree with you that the tendency is genetic. When people speak at meetings so often they say that they come from alcoholic families. And I realize now that's true for me, no one in my family ever got in trouble like some do, but it definitely came from my Dad's side. He had two younger brothers and an older sister who were all heavy drinkers. I didn't realize it when I was a kid, but when they all got together, they all drank after the kids were in bed.

As for my Dad, if he knew he needed help, he'd check himself into a rehab (in another state) for two weeks which counted as his "vacation," and he'd come home just fine. The thing was, he had a very responsible job and no one could know except family. And he was responsible for sending employees to rehab and I've often thought that he could have helped them, but he never went to meetings except in rehab and he never knew about me.

I don't know where it came from in my family, my grandmother who I was very close to loved to have a drink, but she stopped at only one. And my grandfather, who also fought in WWI, died suddenly of a heart attack at 48 when my Dad was only 12. He came from a large Irish family and that seemed to happen to the boys and he was the eldest boy. His closest sister who I knew died at 97. And everyone in the family always speaks fondly of my grandfather.

I should have known earlier, when I'd started my long-time job, I got very sick at work and my friend took me to the ER. They gave me some kind of meds and I missed three days of work as sick as I've ever been. I didn't drink for years after that, but eventually I forgot. And so it started again, I'd come from work all tense and would mean to have one glass of wine, but the alcoholic in me couldn't stop. I tried going to the doctor, but he's just tell me that I was "smart" and shouldn't do that or put me on meds. No one ever suggested AA but that's what worked for me.

My friend who is not an alcoholic, but comes from an alcoholic family (she has half brothers and sisters) took me to my first meeting (she's also a member of DU) and suggested a women's meeting a cousin had belonged to and that's where I met Sue. As I said, Sue wasn't well and passed away five years ago. I still miss her but I keep up with AA and still want her to be proud of me.

As for marijuana and other drugs, the longer I'm in AA the more people I meet who are cross addicted. I tried marijuana when I was in high school (boarding school) where everyone did drugs. The last time I tried it I got sick so it's not for me.

Thanks so much for sharing your story, I know that mine isn't that eventful compared to many I've heard. And I still go to meetings since I can't forget again. And we get brand new people and a lot of long-timers, much longer than me. The advice is to keep coming back. The gentleman who is celebrating this month in my "home group" will have 52 years! And he keeps coming back and is great at reaching out to others. I know that I'll never reach 52 years, but he's another great example. Sorry I went on for so long and thanks for sharing and listening if you got this far.