Welcome to DU! The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards. Join the community: Create a free account Support DU (and get rid of ads!): Become a Star Member Latest Breaking News Editorials & Other Articles General Discussion The DU Lounge All Forums Issue Forums Culture Forums Alliance Forums Region Forums Support Forums Help & Search

llmart

(17,211 posts)
17. I have such empathy for you in that situation because I've been there.
Fri Nov 28, 2025, 10:41 AM
Nov 28

No, I was never an alcoholic myself, but my family of origin was loaded with them. I have six siblings and most of them except for one sister were alcoholics and were always unemployed or not partnered with anyone or the one sister who wasn't an alcoholic was married to one and she was poor as a church mouse trying to feed her kids. So I always hosted every holiday in my house because I felt I had a better life with a better financial situation and wanted them to have somewhere to go. I would dread every holiday because at least a couple of them would always get plastered, never knew when to leave, had various excuses for why they couldn't bring a dish... you get the scenario. One year my sister fell down the stairs from the bathroom upstairs and blamed it on "the dark lighting". Another year a brother showed up really late and wouldn't leave until midnight and I still had stuff to do for my two young children so "Santa" could come. Another Christmas a brother left our house drunk and within two miles hit a parked car and came back to our house and wanted us to drive him home so he could leave his smashed up car in our driveway. Then we got transferred to another state far away and I was so relieved that I wouldn't have to do all that for holidays.

Your last sentence really hit home. I have never liked the holidays. I'm always so glad when they're over. I think there are quite a few of us out there and maybe some who won't even admit it for fear others will think there's something wrong with us. I think that maybe we're the ones who are the smart ones.

I am so glad you took the steps to stop drinking. Oh, by the way, the man my sober sister was married to? He died of cirrhosis at 50 years old leaving her with eight children to raise.

Recommendations

9 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

Can't believe your family would do that! jmbar2 Nov 28 #1
Sorry you had a difficult day yesterday democrank Nov 28 #2
You did it! Proud of you! ZDU Nov 28 #3
Congratulations, well done, in a difficult situation. enough Nov 28 #4
I'm proud of you, Bif, for your awareness & for removing yourself SheltieLover Nov 28 #5
You showed great courage keeping yourself apart from it. Diamond_Dog Nov 28 #6
Well done. NewHendoLib Nov 28 #7
Excellent! mdbl Nov 28 #8
Good job not drinking Farmer-Rick Nov 28 #9
You did well WmChris Nov 28 #10
My hat is off to you. Hope22 Nov 28 #11
You showed incredible strength and resolve Grim Chieftain Nov 28 #12
So glad you got thru it. My addiction was cigarettes Joinfortmill Nov 28 #13
Congratulations Big, JMCKUSICK Nov 28 #14
... Clouds Passing Nov 28 #15
The real point is that you shouldn't have had to. justaprogressive Nov 28 #16
My friend's uncle had to really put his foot down over this. cab67 Nov 28 #19
I have such empathy for you in that situation because I've been there. llmart Nov 28 #17
That last sentence really hit home for me, too. Collimator Nov 28 #25
Congratulations!!! We'll be in that situation at Christmas w/ my husband's family for the first time ever. RamblingRose Nov 28 #18
I stopped cold turkey on February 17, 1995. 634-5789 Nov 28 #20
Stay encouraged, bif. ❤️ littlemissmartypants Nov 28 #21
Good for you! Yah, that's got to be difficult. nt Exp Nov 28 #22
There's no way I'm going to tell people not to drink bif Nov 28 #23
I came to love NA beer for things like this IbogaProject Nov 28 #24
I did have a Good Times IPA last night bif Nov 28 #26
Anything except O'Douls and Bud Zero are ok to good IbogaProject Nov 28 #27
Heinekin Zero is also excellent bif Nov 28 #28
My sister died of alcoholism pfitz59 Nov 28 #29
Congratulations on making it through that bif. I'm sure KPN Nov 28 #30
My BF's son is having an alcohol problem right now AKwannabe Nov 28 #31
It's sad that holidays require you to be a superhero soldierant Nov 28 #32
The single most important thing to remember is that you didn't drink. MissouriDem47 Nov 28 #33
I don't want to sound judgmental but ... FakeNoose Nov 28 #34
I don't think that's what he wants. LisaM Nov 28 #35
The "alcohol gene" seems to be a real disposition to becoming adicted. I hope more is researched. RFK will be on it. Evolve Dammit Nov 28 #36
I must have the mirror image of that gene DFW Saturday #43
It's great you never missed it! Evolve Dammit Saturday #44
I Recently Joined A Group For Help In Recovery. I Commend You... ColoringFool Nov 28 #37
This message was self-deleted by its author Stacey Grove Nov 28 #38
Congratulations on getting through Thanksgiving. Keep taking those timeouts. SunSeeker Nov 28 #39
Kudos to you MustLoveBeagles Nov 28 #40
You did the right thing, getting away from it, even if only for brief periods. calimary Nov 28 #41
hey you did great Skittles Saturday #42
Latest Discussions»Support Forums»Addiction & Recovery»Thanksgiving was tougher ...»Reply #17