Random crap that nobody's going to care about. [View all]

I think I posted that my neighbor women were in a pretty bad car accident. They're both banged up pretty badly. My neighbor is staying elsewhere while she heals.

My wife got a text yesterday that the neighbor had a package waiting for her on her porch, and would my wife please pick it up for her. So last night, my wife says "There's a package on the workbench in the garage. Don't open it, it's the neighbor's".

As I was leaving for a doctor's appointment this morning, I was acting like I was all pissed off about something. I should say here that my wife is in love with her cardiologist. I seriously believe she would leave me for this guy if the opportunity arose. So I was acting all pissed off, and my wife asked me what was the matter.

I said "I opened that package in the garage" and...

She interrupted me and said "I TOLD YOU NOT TO OPEN..."

I then said "WHY DID YOU ORDER PANTIES THAT HAVE A PICTURE OF YOUR CARDIOLOGIST ON THE FRONT OF THEM"???

She laughed and then got serious. She said "You're a fucking asshole, you know that, right"?

I replied "Yes, I know". Then I left for my doctor's appointment.

So here's where I complain about people fucking talking my ass off every time I leave the house.

My back is really flaring up, and I can't walk well. I had to park a good 1/4 mile away from where I need to see the doc at the hospital. I struggled to get out of my car, and began my walk. Slowly.

There was a woman walking from the parking lot in front of me. She was not an old woman, but she had a cane and she was struggling to walk. But I was still walking faster than her, and I was gaining on her. I knew she could not hear me coming up to her, so to be polite, I said loudly "Coming up behind you, ma'am".

She said "I thought I heard somebody". She saw that I was kind of hobbling along and she said "You too"? I said "Yep". She said "What hurts"? I said "Everything".

I sped up to try to pass her, and she grabbed the sleeve of my fleece jacket to stop me. "Let me tell you, first it was my right knee, now it's my left knee, and my back, and my hips, and this bullshit never ends, I'm so sick of it, these goddamn doctors don't know what the hell they're doing and I'm so sick of...". She was still holding on to my freaking arm. I said "I'm so sorry you're having trouble. I have to get to a doctor's appointment", and I got away from her.

I had my sunglasses on, and after I checked in at the docs, I sat down. There was a woman there with her mother who was in a wheelchair. The younger woman actually walked up to me and said "I like your shades". "Oh, thank you". "Where did you get them"? "Amazon". Do you remember what they are called"? "No, I'm sorry". "Do you have your phone on you"? "Yes, why"? "Could you look up your order and tell me what they are called"? I just stammered "I...I....". Then, I was mercifully called back into the exam room.

The doctor is much older than me, and he's a good man. I've been seeing him for years. He came in and examined me, and proceeded to talk my ear off. Talking a mile a minute, for 40 MINUTES. I finally said to him "Jeez Joe, I don't want to tie you up, you must have other patients...". He cut me off and said "I had two cancellations this morning", and he continued to talk. I was mentally exhausted when I left.

Then, I went to the weed store. There were about 10 customers in there, all my age and older. EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN THERE WAS LIMPING, including me. I placed my order, and waited at the counter. Some guy hobbles up to me, stands right next to me, and says "It's my fucking back, the only thing that helps me is...". And I'm thinking "Oh fuck, here we go...". He babbled on for about 6 or 7 minutes until my order was ready.

I thought *I* talked a lot, but now I FEEL better knowing that other people don't shut the hell up either.

Have a nice day.

THE END