01-07-25 Update on my GoFundMe request [View all]

Last edited Wed Jan 8, 2025, 12:02 AM - Edit history (5)

1-7-25 UPDATE
I had my appointment with the Social Security Doctor this afternoon and I'm concerned. It had the feeling of a DOT physical without the drug test. Some questions, checking my range of motion, listen to me breathe and my heart, BP, HT, WT.
What they will determine from what felt perfunctory at best scares me. He ended saying I'll hear from SS in a few weeks.
I'm down a little because 90 min drive there, 1 hour there, 90 minute drive back is really taxing. I'm just scared that this is what I've waited 17 months for to move my case along?
I'm sorry, I need to switch my focus to next weeks' Heart Surgeon appointment.
Thank you to each and every one of you that keeps checking up on me, your love and kindness continues to uplift me and comfort me. My bills are paid up and rent is paid to March. It is only because of your incredible generosity that that for the first time in months I'm not trying figure out what I can pay etc...
For all the uncertainty that lies ahead, you've blessed me with the peace of financial stability for a few months and that gift is truly Priceless.
Thank you all again, I will update again next week on or around the 15th or 16th with the Surgeons recommendations.
It's funny how age changes us, as this quote is quite inspiring to me now.
“Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value.” – Albert Einstein

I hope you all are having a great start to the New Year, apologizing to those of you with noted recent losses of loved ones, pets or human.
With my deepest Gratitude and Love,
John




UPDATE 12-31

Please let me start with the most obvious first. Thank you for all you have done for me thus far, $3540.00 raised, just as importantly the messages of love and support that have continued to this day, and finally, making this New Year with all the anxiety between SSDI and my Heart condition one that I'm now facing with hope and some confidence rather than crippling fear and hopelessness.
You've awakened a spirit in me that's hungry to do more, find ways to be more involved, offer my best self more consciously and more frequently. You've humbled me, made me a better listener, giver, friend. You've made me question and reevaluate things that are limiting my ability to see and feel.
Thank you again for all of the amazing support, outreach, love, kindness, acceptance, and generosity that you've gifted me with again and again and again.
I will update again right around January 15 or so when I find out what the Surgeon recommends.
My New Years wish for each of you is that you have the opportunity through "Gods" grace to feel all that you've made me feel these last 2-3 weeks.
1st Corinthians Chapter 13 has been guiding my ideals since i was a boy maybe 11 years old. I love the entire Chapter and here is another reason why:
"12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known."
You were my Gods voice. You've helped me know more fully, see more than old messages, believe more deeply, and learn not just to believe in miracles, but to know any and all of us are worthy.
Happy New Year to my DU FAMILY!
Love,
John


https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-john-mckusick-overcome-health-and-financial-struggles

UPDATE 12-20
I was able to secure my first consultation for January 17th at ODark30 uhm I mean 830am at the Barnes-Jewish Hospital in St Louis with Cardiac Surgeon Dr. Masood. That means I have to leave here at 630 to make sure I'm 15-30 mins early. I am on the cancellation list so fingers crossed, it could be sooner. I have been very pro-active, calling them only to find out that they didn't have the referral yet. Thankfully, a sweet nurse called from Mattoon Hospital to see if I'd heard anything. Long story short, they had wrong fax#.
The great news is that the referral got faxed, my appt got made, shaving at least 10 days off my waiting time due to upcoming holidays.
As to the GoFundMe request, You all have brought it up past the 50% mark to $2840.00 I'm still struggling to find adequate expressions of my gratitude as I've never experienced such kindness, generosity and love in my lifetime.
I can find no quote that memorializes what you all have done for me together than:

“Life isn’t about getting and having, it’s about giving and being.” – Kevin Kruse

I want to thank you all again from the bottom of my heart for your collective action that has given my life renewed hope and purpose.
Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays to each of you wonderful DUers who brighten so many days and lives around the world.

https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-john-mckusick-overcome-health-and-financial-struggles

I got bad news from my heart catheterization procedure today. They stopped the procedure early on when they found multiple blockages that will require either triple or quadruple bypass surgery. I will be having the surgery at Barnes Jewish hospital in St Louis sometime after the holidays. They are supposed to reach out to me shortly to meet with the surgeon.
I was hoping for better, but will find a way to cope. I'm really struggling to hold it together but you all have helped make it less of a burden with your help and support. I'm in the car on the way home so I'll post further.


Before I go into detail, I would like to express my undying gratitude for your amazing response to my plea for help. I've been moved to tears many times from the kindness, love and yes the financial donations so many of you have made and offered.
I have been affected to the core of my soul by your outreach, my life changing forever in a positive way as I never felt worthy of such unconditional love from anyone near me, much less strangers I'll likely never meet.
My Heart Catheterization is scheduled for 11am CST this morning and instead of fear, anxiety, worry and emotional paralysis of what might happen, you've given me a calm, relatively serene peace as I know my bills for the next couple of months will be covered.
Thus far, the GoFundMe has raised $2810.00 out of the $5500.00 goal.

https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-john-mckusick-overcome-health-and-financial-struggles

I owe a special debt of gratitude to Omaha Steve, XanaDUer2 for embracing me in my time of need.
I also want to thank Debm55, MustLoveBeagles, Spanone, Niyad, Jfz9580m, Liberella among others for keeping my request in front of everyone's eyes.
To each donor, I responded as quickly as possible through GFM directly and to all of you that sent the warmest wishes, I've never in my life felt so embraced and loved.
You've all impacted my self worth in ways I couldn't have thought possible a week ago. I grew up in foster homes and group homes for the majority of my childhood, have had abandonment issues my entire life and you all have given me the opportunity to genuinely believe that my life has intrinsic worth for the first time.
I have made reference several times to feeling like I've had my own It's A Wonderful Life experience and please be assured that that is no exaggeration.
In some ways, this journey is still in its infancy, but I feel like you all have carried me a thousand miles closer to where I need to be and for that, I will always be grateful.
Thank you so very much for all that you've done, and please know that your gifts in words and deed have impacted me far beyond your loving intent.

I will update with the results and (fingers crossed) of the catheterization and hopefully the treatment provided to remedy the blockages.
You have given me the power to face this moment with hope and courage rather than fear and trepidation.
For that gift and all the others, Thank You Thank you Thank you.
Love,
John Mckusick