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1. I have steak, shrimp, broccoli and a baked potato for dinner tonight. Tomorrow I receive an email from a fancy supermarket containing digital coupons for those products.

2. I have hamburgers for lunch three days a week. I receive newsletters on the ties between saturated fat and heart disease.

3. I have ramen for lunch. I receive a coupon for a free blood pressure screening due to the elevated sodium levels in my diet.

4. I put my frying pan in the dishwasher without wiping out the grease. I receive a $500 fine from the county sewage authority for unpermitted discharge of fats into the sewage system.

5. When I close the door of the dishwasher, the word "Bosch" is displayed prominently. I receive an email directly from Donald Trump calling me an un-American bastard and mandating I immediately buy a dishwasher made in a factory located in the United States, which makes me laugh because Bosch's only dishwasher factory is in New Bern, NC.

6. After I place the smart glasses on a large rock and beat them to a fine powder with a three-pound sledgehammer, the FBI arrests me for destroying a government surveillance device.