General Discussion

my husband lost, this one hit me to the core. I'm fighting a really bad fibro flare, but was expected to find it when he can't even remember where he had it last!

But more than that, it points to another inequity... hubby's 72 and doing the fast track on the dementia scale. Not only have I lost a marital partner, I've lost my best friend. And it hurts so bad there are no words. But there is no help, other than my grandson (and believe, I AM grateful for that... he's the one who found the wallet!)... but hubby is to the point where he needs a keeper, and I can't keep up with it. This is the first time I've said those words, and I feel so horrible saying them. And you know what? I blame the ecosystem in which we women live. Yes, we're suppose to parent our children like we have no job. And job like we have no children. But now I no longer have a job (I brought in most of our paycheck, anyway)... and no help to "parent" my "kid"... and believe me, it's like living with a 2-year-old. I'm afraid to let loose the tears I feel most of the time. I'm afraid if I started crying, I'd never stop. And a large part of that is guilt... it's an amorphous guilt, even I admit that. That's why I blame the "mythology" that culture has steeped upon us women.