General Discussion

Men have lost my grace.

This morning, knowing I would be unlikely to eat until mid afternoon I made a rare stop for a small egg sandwich at a fast food restaurant. There was a man in front of me and everyone else on the line, and he was parked in the middle of both drive-through lanes so as to see which one would move sooner. One was unable to get around him into one lane or the other. I moved my car and made a gesture to show him I would like to enter one of these two lanes and waived my hand so as to communicate that he should choose a lane so the rest of us could get on the lines.

He opened his door and got out of his little Colorado pick up truck and began yelling. I kept my doors and windows closed, as I had my child in the car with me. While he carried on I simply gestured more emphatically for him to choose a lane. It was obvious he knew What I was requesting.

He gets back in his truck and refuses to move. One of the lines moves forward and he begins to move toward that line, thinking he could get his breakfast a few seconds faster. I begin to move my car to enter the lane and he slams on his brakes in an attempt to cause me to rear-end him. Make no mistake : this is an act of violence .

This was a selfish, angry and entitled man. And I realized something with great clarity this morning: men, as a collective, have lost my grace.

This may not sound like much, but it is a seismic shift. I used to be the pushover, people pleaser, unhealed empath who made excuses for all kinds of bad behavior, even when they damaged me personally, deeply and profoundly.

Men have lost my Grace: I will no longer tolerate self selfish, greedy, patriarchical and misogynistic behavior even when it is not directly pointed at me.

Men have lost my Grace: I will no longer make excuses to justify, pacify and to tolerate aggressive behaviors of men toward women or children, and certainly not toward myself.

Men have lost my grace: what has been revealed more clearly than ever in this last year has been so appalling, so devastating and so horrifying that until men stand up collectively against this violence against women, children and the Earth there shall be no grace. There shall be no shelter in my home. There shall be no comfort in my presence .

Men have lost my grace, but the children (including those who are male), I will fiercely defend.

*This post is not about an incident in a fast food line*

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