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meadowlander

(5,142 posts)
21. I think in general people need to be more conscientious
Mon Apr 13, 2026, 08:58 PM
Apr 13

when you're doing something in a group, that means you go at the pace of the slowest person so you all stay together unless there's a specific agreement that some people can go on ahead.

I remember going cycling with my dad and brother when I was about 8. I couldn't keep up, they made no effort to slow down for me even though I asked them to repeatedly. Finally I got fed up and went to cry in the 7/11 bathroom for like half an hour and they just cycled home without noticing. I got home almost an hour after them and they never even noticed or commented on it. Literally anything could have happened to me in the meantime.

I do think sometimes people get a competitive and sadistic streak when they are doing group fitness activities like this and it makes them look down on the "weaker" people who can't keep the same pace without thinking about their broader relationship or their duty of care. I had a boss who did this on team away days too where they were a triathlete and would make the whole team walk at their pace on walking tours without any consideration for older team members with health limitations. One girl wore the wrong shoes and was limping and bleeding by the end and the boss just totally ignored her.

Fatphobia plays into it a lot of the time too. It's okay to treat people like nothing and lead them into dangerous situations because it's their fault for not exercising more.

Recommendations

2 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

People need self-awareness and recognition of boundaries. bucolic_frolic Apr 13 #1
It seems that people in many areas are no longer being taught to care for each other, just take care of yourself... wcmagumba Apr 13 #2
As a man, I can confidently say I'd never abandon my partner like that in a million years, not for Musk's fortune... Dave says Apr 13 #3
That's the way I feel. No matter the horrible argument, get back safely and then say the sayanoras. erronis Apr 13 #8
Never Cirsium Apr 13 #15
It's not "men"; it's "some men". maxsolomon Apr 13 #4
Of course "NOT ALL MEN" but it is a male problem. Coventina Apr 13 #5
Testosterone. maxsolomon Apr 13 #6
Maybe not all but a big hunk of it. efhmc Apr 13 #7
It can go both ways... BeneteauBum Apr 13 #12
Not about meeting criteria Cirsium Apr 13 #17
Competitive sailing can be dangerous BeneteauBum Apr 13 #22
Women have levels slightlv Apr 13 #18
DEFINITELY!!! calimary Apr 13 #9
Lack of love, plain and simple. patphil Apr 13 #10
People make my head and heart hurt EdmondDantes_ Apr 13 #11
Dale Carnegie suggested going canoeing with a lover before marrying them IronLionZion Apr 13 #13
This is a form of deadly abuse ms.pamela Apr 13 #14
Dominance Nasruddin Apr 13 #16
Another male checking in.. Permanut Apr 13 #19
I find this saddening more than anything. harumph Apr 13 #20
I think in general people need to be more conscientious meadowlander Apr 13 #21
If he abandons you anywhere... Iggo Apr 13 #23
A person who is taller has a longer stride. milestogo Apr 13 #24
Amazing Cirsium Apr 13 #25
This message was self-deleted by its author PeaceWave Apr 13 #26
Here's an earlier article from The Guardian: hunter Apr 14 #27
I'm I man and I would never leave a person in distress behind unless it was to get help... NNadir Apr 14 #28
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