General Discussion

when a person is subjected to multiple swirlies every day of their formative years.

It had to have been hard. His mom calls him down for breakfast, she gives him a swirlie before he gets his lox and bagels. He arrives at school, his teacher immediately leads him to the rest room for his pre-class swirlie. Walking home in the afternoon, random strangers would drag him into the nearest gas station rest room and give him a swirlie. He visits his grandparents, they argue over who gets to give him a birthday swirlie.

However, multiple interviews have now uncovered the truth. All these people weren't giving him a swirlie -- they were trying to flush him away, but his shoulders were too wide for the drain.