BREAKING: Trump Deploys National Guard to Supreme Court [View all]

Last edited Fri Feb 20, 2026, 02:28 PM - Edit history (1)

Following a 6-3 ruling that struck down donald trump's scattershot tariff scheme, the aged Floridian announced a deployment of the National Guard to the Supreme Court.

"This once great court so great, it was has become a very unpatriotic and unloyal group. Very disappointing. Controlled by rhinos and left-wing Democrat lunatics who have trump derangement syndrome because they're jealous of trump because we're doing great things. Very great things. With the ballroom. And winning elections. Every election including 2020, um 20. We won. We won that. So we're going to take over the elections to ensure elections are fair. Very fair. We need fair elections. So the National Guard is going in. They're going in to straighten things out. Make it clean. Clean it up. That's what... Such great uniforms look so good. And I'm gonna march over there with them. Ready? OK"

The 34-count felon then closed his eyes and drooled a little.