Friends,

I consider myself tolerant. My preferred self-image is someone who enjoys meeting all kinds of people with all sorts of views. I tell my students that the best way to learn something is to talk with someone who disagrees with you.

But yesterday I got an invitation from a friend to a dinner party she was organizing, with a warning that she was also inviting someone I’ll call Jim.

Jim is a dyed-in-the-wool Trump supporter. He was entranced by Trump in 2016. He thought that Trump won the 2020 election and it was “stolen” from him. He contributed money to Trump’s 2024 campaign. Jim worships Trump.

Our paths crossed briefly several years ago at a cocktail party. When Jim began praising Trump, I wanted to puke. Instead, I left the party and haven’t seen him since.

My friend’s invitation to her dinner party to which she’s also invited Jim is putting me to the test. I really don’t want to go. I cannot stomach the idea of talking with him. And yet, what about my preferred self-image? What about my admonition to my students? What about my supposed tolerance of different views?