General Discussion

There are too many complicated explanations online for simpler things.

I have had an extended period in my life where I was really not behaving like myself. It’s finally starting to fade. I never “got help” because it was an anomalous brain state.

I finally understand it today..there may well be explanations i am unaware of (effects of technology on human behavior). But there is a very simple explanation.. I am a pretty leftish person (inside my head anyway) ..which doesn’t mean mechanically spouting a bunch of orthodoxy. But while I seem lame enough and conventional on the surface and it was enough for routine civilian science, my last employer was more a data mining/defense contracting type than a Univ really.

My mentor/the scientists there were decent enough, but the place..it chilled whatever part of the brain (and its significant enough for me as someone who loves fiction and reading) is tied to imagination, escape or novelty in any cool way.
I started mechanically predicting like a person who doesn’t exist…ie a person who looks and sounds like me but volunteers for a job I considered insane.
Among respectable scientists, in my book, only an insane Type A would sign up for that for any competitive edge that gives you..I wouldnt even enjoy it. Or someone I would disapprove of who looked and sounded like me.

They are so sleazy and braindead that they cannot envision a reason except mental issues or folly for why someone would be inimical to them without being a fool.

It’s hard to explain..I am never running for office nor commodifying my own life. That’s the only type of person for whom it’s not a total loss. Otoh wtf..
They cant grasp Sartre’s “No exit”, because they don’t understand human behavior.

I’d rather know most of the board members here…though it’s not a wealthy or fashionable community (I mean that as a compliment..you are all decent humans..who cares if you are wealthy or fashionable)..than those guys. The elites in contemporary society, above a level are not people anyone wants near them. Ghastly people.

Dr Fauci is the rare type of elite person who is elite and sympathetic …he is the type of elite person even I trust..always felt sorry for him seeing a real elite person but mucking around in that world governed by media and politics..no wonder his credentials and hard work were of no use.

“Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, Than a fatted calf with hatred.” To get all biblical (though I got that from P G Wodehouse..not the Bible ;-/).

They kill the imagination as you bleakly envision a world that looks much like this one but with no reprieve even inside your head. Why would anyone sign up for that .

It hit me as I was skimming this book called Progress by Sam Miller MacDonald and thinking of an oped by Hamilton Nolan in Current Affairs and all of say Yasha Levine’s work. That this was fundamentally an attempt to squeeze a response out of a type of brain that is inimical to everything my former employer stood for.

It’s the banality of evil. They weren’t even ill intentioned or casually clueless. They literally cannot see how someone who is different would view a world governed by their politics best case..