Spurious News: DC Comics rejects Trump's request to become comic book character! [View all]

BURBANK, CALIF (Spurious News Network) — King Donald Trump believes children are the key to getting adults to embrace his Big Beautiful Bill, a proposed law that will remake America in Trump’s image.

“Children are our future,” said White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt, “and parents always listen to their children. President Trump knows that if children love the Big Beautiful Bill their parents will soon follow. To win the children over to the fantastic Big Beautiful Bill, we will promote it through comic books.”

The administration sent an email to DC Comics, publisher of the iconic Batman: “We hereby direct DC Comics to make President Trump a character in the Batman comic series. As the richest of all superheroes he will appreciate the Big Beautiful Bill and will do everything he can to ensure its passage.”

DC Comics immediately replied: “The last thing the world needs is any more Batman villains, and even if we needed more we wouldn’t make Trump one because he would suck at it.”