Mike Johnson finally gets the news he feared most - Another Day - Brian Tyler Cohen

BTC: Mike Johnson is losing his grip on Congress and also apparently reality. This is just another day.

The holidays are supposed to be a joyous time of year when people gather together to celebrate peace, love, and getting that Aura ring that my girlfriend promised me. And I swear to God, if I am not tracking my sleep metrics by Boxing Day, I'm going to be boxing up my toothbrush and moving to the Hilton.

But in spite of all the holly jolliness of the season, one little elf is feeling pretty low right now. I'm talking, of course, about Republican House Speaker Mike Johnson. Hey, you'd be sad, too, if your entire political conference hated you and your son wouldn't even let you jerk off to numb the pain. Yesterday, Mike Johnson announced that despite pleas from moderate House Republicans to bring the issue of extending Obamacare subsidies to a vote, he was going to have to take a hard pass.

(cut to video)
Rep. Mike Johnson: We do have there's about a dozen members in the conference that are in these swing districts who are fighting hard to make sure that they reduce cost uh for for all of their constituents and and many of them did want to vote on this Obamacare, you know, COVID era subsidy the Democrats created. We looked for a way to try to allow for that uh pressure release valve and it just was not to be.

(cut to studio)
BTC: Oh, it was not to be. It was dare I say forsooth. simply allowing the issue to be voted on was nary written in the stars. Would that I could do this thing totally within my power and kind of my responsibility as somebody elected to uphold the principles of democracy. But alas, fate would not have it. So, of course, while Republicans in vulnerable districts couldn't have been happy that Johnson wouldn't even let them pretend to fight for their constituents, I'm sure they kept it to themselves, you know, for the optics.

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Major Garrett: Congressman, give me your unfiltered opinion of the decision of the House Republican leaders not to have a floor vote on extending enhanced Obamacare tax credits.
Rep. Mike Lawler: It's idiotic and it's political malpractice.

(cut to studio)
BTC: Idiotic and political malpractice, so it matches the rest of Trump's presidency. To be clear, this anger toward Johnson is more than just a little intraparty squabble and you could sense the gravity of that situation as reporters chase Johnson through the Capitol this morning.

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Reporter: Have you lost control of the House?
Mike Johnson: I have not lost control of the House.

(cut to studio)
BTC: You know, if you have to say you haven't lost control of the House, you've probably lost control of the House. It's like Eric Trump saying, "Yes, my dad loves me." If it were actually true, no one would be asking the question.

Republican rage against Speaker Johnson has been building for a while, and it's about a lot more than just healthcare. In fact, just a few weeks ago, Republican Congresswoman Nancy Mace wrote an op-ed for the New York Times titled, "What's the point of Congress?" where she points out, quote, "The frustrations of being a rank-and-file House member are compounded as certain individuals or groups remain marginalized within the party getting little say. Women will never be taken seriously until leadership decides to take us seriously, and I'm no longer holding my breath."

And just in case you want it in plainer language, here's Marjorie Taylor Greene.

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MTG: But his actions fully show the hypocrisy. You're seeing Republican women lash out directly at the speaker because he sidelines us and and doesn't take us seriously.

(cut to studio)
BTC: Stop the presses. This just in. Christian nationalist Mike Johnson who went back in a time machine to the 1950s for his worldview who made his wife get extra extra marriage to him because just being regular married wasn't enough of a commitment. That Mike Johnson is sexist. I'm shocked. What's next? Are you going to tell me that my own president also doesn't respect women? Look, I'm not saying it's good that Mike Johnson treats women like shit, I'm just not sure why anyone is surprised. The man literally goes on podcast to publicize his misogyny. It is his whole brand.

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Mike Johnson: And and and you know, men and women are different in this way is that men have can compartmentalize things.

(cut to studio)
BTC: His wife is sitting right next to him nodding. This man is not masquerading as an ally. Ladies, this guy wasn't exactly wearing a pink pussy hat at the Women's March. And look, the Republican conference isn't just mad that Mike Johnson is sidelining women. They are mad that he's sidelining everyone, including himself.

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PBS Reporter: He kept the full House out of session for nearly 2 months, and he blocked popular bills like the one releasing the Epstein files. Republican Thomas Massie of Kentucky co-sponsored that.
Rep. Thomas Massie: He's been basically just doing whatever President Trump wants to do. So, I would say President Trump's been in control of the House.

(cut to studio)
BTC: Wow. Massie is basically saying that Mike Johnson is a puppet. But come on, let's be fair here. Does this really look like the face of a {image of Pinocchio flashes onscreen} …okay, yeah, I see it now. He's relinquished every bit of the House's power to Donald Trump and acts like he's happy about the shitty things that Trump is doing with it. I think Democratic Congressman Jared Moscowitz probably put it best.

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Jared Moscowitz: I mean, man, Speaker Johnson just can't get away from having to, you know, figure out how to defend the president without making it look like he's has completely no idea what's going on at any point in time uh in in the Capitol.

(cut to studio)
BTC: I mean, maybe he doesn't. He kept the House out of session for the entire duration of the shutdown. He refuses to take issues his own party cares about to the floor. Is Mike Johnson actually spending any time at the Capitol or did he just put a mannequin that sort of looks like him behind the speaker's podium?

It is no wonder that Johnson's party is furious with him because some people actually got a job in Congress to do like work. And as much as Johnson wants to obstruct that from happening, members of his party are finding ways around him.

(cut to video)
PBS Reporter: Buried in the House rules, discharge motions allow a majority of House members to sign a petition and force a House floor vote on a bill. Just a handful have ever succeeded. But in just the last two years, five discharge petitions have made the 218 signature threshold. But increasingly more Republicans say this is the way to get Johnson and Trump's attention.
Rep. Don Bacon: If the White House took our input, I think they'd be in a stronger position. This is a way for us to put in our input.
PBS Reporter: Now, the dynamics for House Republicans aren't just palace intrigue. They will determine if and how the House addresses those Affordable Care Act subsidies due to expire for millions at the end of this month.

(cut to studio)
BTC: I got to say, I never thought the party so hateful to gay people that they would want to undo same-sex marriage would wind up governing exclusively through the back door. The point is, just like Trump's approval ratings are plummeting, the wheels are coming off of Mike Johnson's speakership. So, it should be no surprise that today the ghost of Christmas Past {Kevin McCarthy} boarded Marine 1 with the President clearly on his way to collect Mike Johnson's soul.

BTC (in haunting voice with visual effects): Mike, it is I, Kevin McCarthy. Remember when you stole the speakership from me? Jokes on you, ha-ha because the job fucking sucks.

BTC (returning to normal tone): But the great irony here is truly that there is no great irony. This whole thing played out exactly like anyone could have guessed. The guy who only became speaker by agreeing to terms that completely degraded the power of the office is now being pushed out by the people below him. The southern Jesus freak whose values date back to a time before civil rights marginalized women in his conference. And when this feckless Trump fanboy handed all the power of the House to the president, the people below him got rightfully pissed. It is almost like Mike Johnson should have seen this coming. Although if you ask him…

(cut to video)
Mike Johnson: I have not lost control.

(cut to studio)
BTC: Right?