Trump announces insane new plan - Another Day - Brian Tyler Cohen

BTC: Donald Trump fights for you as long as you have a billion dollars. This is just another day.

Thanks to this president's racist and xenophobic immigration policy, countless immigrants are wrapped with fear as to how they'll ever be able to survive in this country. But fear not, because thankfully today all of those people got a solution to their vexing quandary. Turns out all it takes is a few million bucks.

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Trump: Howard, maybe you'll give uh a little description of the Trump Gold card, please.
Howard Lutnick: Sure. So, for an individual, it's $1 million, and for a corporation, it's $2 million. Then the company can keep them here, and they have a path to citizenship.

BTC: Ah, so Donald Trump is basically a bouncer telling immigrants, there's no way you're getting into America, unless they secretly palm him a million dollars. Every day that goes by for this administration, there is more and more proof that the only people Donald Trump really wants to help are the rich.

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Trump: We're really on a big move to get rid of red tape so they can run their businesses and not have to wait 10 years for an approval. We're allowing 100% expensing for capital expenditures, including investments in factories and equipment and structure. So including even structure so that if Michael goes out and builds a factory, you can you can take it against tax.

BTC: Yes. How applicable to everyday Americans who are struggling right now. Just so many families gathered around the kitchen table praising you for allowing them to take their factory buildings against tax. The ethos of this administration is beyond crystal clear right now. If you need Medicaid, they could give a fuck. If you need food assistance, they could give a fuck. And if you are an immigrant not using Trump's gold card…

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Trump: Why is it we only take people from hole countries?

BTC: Exactly. I think we all know the words emblazoned on the Statue of Liberty. Give me your tired, your wealthy, your huddled masses yearning to show off their new Prada bag. Today's round table with wealthy business leaders was really just a chance for Trump to shake them down and for those business leaders to lie about how much they were being shaken down for.

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Trump: We have what's called the hottest country anywhere in the world. We're the hottest country in the world right now. 10 months took us. I thought it was going to take longer, Michael. I really I didn't think we were going to have this success this soon. We have over $18 trillion being invested. Much of it by like you're in for a lot. What's the number that you're looking at?
Unidentified CEO: 150 150 billion.
Trump: So it's over 100 over hundred billion dollars. He can give a gift of 6 billion 250 million. And I know he said he's going to do a lot more.

BTC: Wow, those are really impressive numbers if they were in any way factually accurate. All of the billions these business moguls are pledging to invest in America are completely made-up figures. They're just saying whatever they think Trump wants to hear. And don't take my word for it. Just ask our nation's top electric surfer.

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Trump: How much are you spending uh would you say over the next few years?
Mark Zuckerberg: Oh gosh. Um, I mean, I think it's probably going to be something like, I don't know, at least $600 billion through {20}28 in the US. Yeah,
Trump: It's a lot.
Zuckerberg: No, it's significant. That's a lot.
Trump: Thank you, Mark. It's great to have you for sure.

BTC: Wow. I wonder what gave Mark the impression that Trump wouldn't really know if he was bullshitting or not?

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Trump: So, we're into 6G now. I just 5G. I was I was a leader on 5G getting that and now they're up to six.
Unidentified Cabinet member: Let's do it again.
Trump: What does that do? Give you a little bit deeper view into somebody's skin.

BTC: Boy, I hope not. The reality is this master negotiator we have in the White House who supposedly puts America first hasn't put Americans in much of a pole position at all. Trump's entire brand is that he can close deals and make people pay. So, it's worth putting one of those recent deals under a microscope.

Remember back in April when Trump launched a chaotic trade war against the world? Sure, everyday Americans might have to pay higher prices, but it would be worth it to stop those other countries from ripping us off.

And at the tippy top of Trump's naughty list was China, who he vowed to hit the hardest. China would pay a massive tariff if they wanted to sell products in our country. So, what did China do to retaliate? They hit America back by not buying what has been one of our top exports for decades, white guy boy bands, but also soybeans. So where does China turn to for their soybean fix? Argentina. Well, Trump can't have that because the farmers in America are revolting. So he heads back to the negotiating table and makes a deal telling China if they're willing to get back into America's soybean game, then Trump will let them buy one of Nvidia's most powerful AI chips.

So, China agrees because of course they do because they go back to the status quo as far as soybeans are concerned and America loses its edge on one of our most powerful chips which of course China will inevitably rip off. Meaning this whole thing is a worse deal than we had before. Trump charted all over our country and America's biggest adversary because now they have access to one of our most powerful computer chips in the world. Is this the art of the deal that I've been hearing so much about? But don't worry, Trump knows American farmers are suffering, so he's doing what he can to help them out.

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Trump: So, we're going to use that money to provide 12 billion dollars in economic assistance to American farmers. 12 billion is a lot of money.

BTC: It is a lot of money. Although, if my math checks out, 12 billion is not as much as this.

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News Announcer: This week, the Trump administration authorized a 20 billion financial lifeline for Argentina.

BTC: Yep. The America First president sure does care about farmers in Argentina. And how about Paramount's recent bid to take over Warner Brothers? It doesn't sound very America first for a president to be cool with a merger that results in half of our news and media being owned by foreign nations. But I guess when people let you build beachfront resorts in their country or gift you giant airplanes, you feel like you kind of owe them.

This president that supposedly puts America first in fact only puts one American first, himself. The only reason any of these guys are even led into the room is because it benefits Trump in some way, shape, or form. These are the people who attend his crypto dinners. These are the ones who are members at his golf courses. These are the ones who shove money in his pocket so he can construct a gaudy chandelier orgy at the White House and show everyone just how much his wife just loves to dance with him. Donald Trump rewards the rich because it benefits him. If Donald Trump really is the law and order president, then why did he pardon the former CEO of Binance after he and his company were found guilty of money laundering and had allowed illicit actors to transact freely, supporting activities from child sexual abuse to illegal narcotics to terrorism. I mean, I have one guess.

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News Report: The company CZ founded, Binance, helped boost the profile of the Trump family's crypto firm, World Liberty Financial. In 2025, his crypto exchange, Binance, helped facilitate a $2 billion purchase of World Liberty Financial’ s stable coin. And then you pardoned CZ. How do you address the appearance of pay for play?
Trump: Well, here's the thing. I know nothing about it because I'm too busy doing the other.


BTC: Yep. Donald Trump was too busy blowing other CEOs for money, he didn't even notice two billion dollars being added to his bank account. It is always about the money with Donald. He pardoned the founder of Nikola as a thank you for donating almost $2 million to his re-election campaign. Pardoned venture capital investor and fellow major donor Imaad Zuberi. And he pardoned Paul Walczak, a wealthy tax cheat after Walczak's mom attended a fundraiser at Mara Lago. By the way, what a nice mommy getting her son out of a jam like that. But her wallet says bad mother unfucker on it. The tragic irony in all of this is that the people being deprived the most by this president are the same people he promised the world to. Trump held rally after rally after rally where he promised to lower Americans rent, their grocery bills, their health care costs. But it was all a scam so he could lower himself into the Oval Office and ink as many self-serving lucrative deals as possible. And to me, that's pretty rich.