My ex-wife passed away Friday night

We got divorced back in 2005 or so but have been in contact. At one point, my ex was living with me at my home for 10 or so months when she moved back from Baltimore. The kids joked that there was it was more likely that we would kill each other than get back together again. The kids all told the Rabbi that no money changed hands on that wager.

My ex did not take care of herself and a number of physical issues including diabetes which was not under control, both knees replaced, heart issues, breathing issues, high blood pressure and a couple of strokes. Most recently she had a stroke in the brain stem that she survived. I got a text on Wednesday of this week that her blood pressure was 176 over 95 and she was dizzy.

My ex would send me a ton of amusing texts (we had a similar sense of humor) and call me on some issues including a lawsuit that she had with a contractor and a claim against her insurance company. I saw that I had 12 or so calls from her on some days. I was trying to help with her lawsuit/legal issue and was trying to help her with our children. My ex had called me a couple of hours before she died and I had not called her back because I was eating dinner with my youngest.

My ex was living with a former boyfriend while she was trying to move back to her home. My ex evidently went into bathroom and was found collapsed about 30 minutes.

I still remember my ex got me to the take the CPA exam after I got out of law school and was practicing. I was accepted to law school and so never took the CPA review course. I got credit for the business law part of the exam and passed the audit part when we took the test the first time. The second time we both passed the remaining parts of the exam and she threaten me because we got the same envelope for the accounting board. She had taken a semester long CPA review course at the accounting department and I studied for two weeks using a CPA review book five years after my last accounting course. In the early 1980s, when you passed the Bar you got a post card and when you passed the CPA exam you got a thick envelope with a take home ethics exam. We both got the same thick envelope.

The funeral was yesterday. I was shocked to see 50 or 60 people attend the grave side service. Under Reform Jewish tradition, the funeral is within three days. I had called my ex-wife's accounting firm on Saturday and a good number of people from that firm showed up including all of the senior partners. My kids and I were expecting a small handful of people to attend. My ex-wife was sort of a mother at her firm to the younger staff members. I had a number of staff members come up and tell us that my ex-wife will be missed. A couple of people from my ex's prior firms showed up. I was busy going through my rolodex and got a hold of a good number of people.

One of my many cousins and his wife came in from Austin. His mother/my aunt was great to us a long time ago. My ex and I took the CPA exam twice in San Antonio and stayed at my aunt's house. It meant a great deal for my cousin to come to this grave side. Since my cousin and my middle child both live in or near Austin, we will get together in the future.

We spent over an hour and half with the Rabbi the day before the grave side service and she use the material for a wonderful tribute to me ex-wife. The Rabbi described the family's conversion to Judaism after my ex and I went to temple for the bat mitsvahs of my mentor's daughters. Judaism was a major part of my ex's life and the rest of the family. My kids all went through religious school and my oldest was the first Eagle Scout for the Temple's boy scout troop. The Rabbi did a great job and all of my kids were crying during the sermon. I had some tears also. I have known the Rabbi for a very long time. She knew all three kids from religious school, and I was on the board of trustees with her for 10 years and that was 24 years ago. I and all three kids were moved by the ceremony.

Under Jewish tradition, we light a candle after the service that will stay lit for 7 days called a yahrzeit candle. My oldest has lit his candle when we got to his house after services. My youngest and I lit our candle as soon as we got back from the funeral.

One of my law partners attended (he is a past president of our temple) and he teased me that he does not want to see me at the office for the next week. I am exhausted and doubt that I will be going into the office for a while.

I am so proud of my oldest child. He did the arrangements with Temple, the Cemetery and the funeral home. This was tough but he stepped up.

We have the yahrzeit candle on the mantle above the fireplace. I had a tear in my eye when I saw this candle this morning.