I have no words yet i understand how you feel.

It helps.

I am so saddened to learn of your beloved companion pupper departing for the Rainbow Bridge.

Nothing else hurts as much as what you are going through right now.

I am glad you asked for her body to be returned, given your feelings.

Your sweet pupper likely doesn't mind that you sent her discarded body to be cremated. She was finished with it, after all, & you chose to have her ashes returned.

I asked the same question of the vet when our beloved rescue kitty passed over, as to why so long for ashes to be returned. I was told the bodies are kept in freezers until they have enough to fire up the furnace.

It felt awful to me to leave her at the vet's office after she passed, but grandson was adamant that he wanted her ashes in case we ever move.

Healing vibes are on the way to you. Sit, close your eyes, and think of her & you might well feel her with you.

I have always gone by the traditional view that the soul leaves the body on the third day, and that is today. So, I think I am feeling that. After reading all these caring responses, I went out in the back yard and visited her favorite spots. I cried and talked to her for a long time in the darkness and called her home. I feel her with me a bit more now. So, thank you for reminding me that she is not with her body anymore. Hugs.

We all have our own.beliefs about the hereafter, but I have it on reliable authority that a dear friend has watched a person's essence leave the body after death, through the mouth, much like expelling a breath, but more slowly.

Either way, your beloved pupper has made fhe necessary adjustmsnts & is by your side &, perhaps most importantly, you know she is there with you. If you think about it, where else would she opt to go?

I strongly suggest reading "A Dog's Purpose.'

Hugs

You are right that she would be impossible to replace. She was one of a kind.

How we grieve is so personal as is the choice to cremate or bury.

We choose to have all our pets cremated so their ashes can be with ours. I’m a veterinary pathologist and know the people who offer these services. They are caring and compassionate.

I know the grief feels unbearable. I’ve been there too many times myself. May be focus on your favorite memories of her, start collecting her things around the house and make a memory box, go on her favorite walk. She’ll be back with you soon and then you can bury her ashes if you need a physical grave.

As for the guilt - it is a totally normal feeling after euthanasia. I still feel it after having our old border collie (my heart dog) put down six years ago, although she was in pain that I couldn’t fix and it was the right thing to do.

There are grief counselors who specialize in pet loss if you need help working through these feelings. But, ultimately, it is totally normal to feel what you are feeling.

Hugs to you and wishing you peace.

Your words were soothing to read, and held much good advice. I need to do as you've suggested. I will start focusing on memories and collecting things of hers.She was also a border collie and was my deep heart dog. Like your border collie, she was in an unfixable situation, and was in terrible pain. She tried to hide it, but that was her nature. The pain in her eyes was impossible to miss. We did the best we could. I just wish we had not let her be taken from uscso immediately. With our other pets who passed, it was a comfort to be able to have time to say goodbye and process the death while we prepared a burial ceremony. I am missing that, and regret it. But I am too sick to dig a grave. I only wish I had thought to ask for help with that.

I truly doubt it's too late

Aak friends for help.

It sounds as if you really need the time with her & the ritual of her burial for closure.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I've had several of my cats cremated and don't remember how long it's taken but I do know that the crematorium doesn't pick up from my vet right away and I guess that goes for when they deliver the ashes back so 2 weeks doesn't sound like too long, really. Maybe they pick up once a week and deliver once a week so they say possibly 2 weeks to allow for extra time depending on pickup/drop-off schedules ???

Once went to an actual pet cemetery and actually had a viewing before the cremation. Won't do that again because it didn't really help and just seemed to give me time to cry in front of others, although I guess that's true of human funerals as well.

My cousin has agreed to have my cats' ashes buried with mine in the family plot. There are already one beloved dog's ashes there (added some time after my Uncle's funeral).

Your words helped. Thank you for taking the time to post to me.

passed ten years before him. We had Scottie cremated and hubbie’s wish was that when his own ashes went out to the water next to our home, Scottie’s would go at the same time. So when my hubby passed, I took Scottie from his ceramic container (which was painted with his image), and both went swimming in the Florida bay, as per hubbie’s wish.

Their souls were not in the ashes. They are with me everyday.

Sorry for your loss.

It was sweet and sad, and you are right. "Their souls were not in the ashes. They are with me everyday." Thank you for reminding me of that.

this poem was on a card my vet sent me

Grieve not
nor speak of me with tears,
but laugh and talk of me
as if I were beside you.
.I loved you so —
’twas Heaven here with you

- Isla Paschal Richardson

I appreciate the wisdom of those words.

in the past i have tormented myself during the agony of grieving with countless what-ifs and i should have done this/i should have done that.

and i understand your distress with the 2 weeks timeline. and hopefully when you speak to the vet they can better explain that process and either ease your mind or return her body.

you asked where she is and my guess is that she is right there with you, possibly a bit confused, probably adjusting to this change.

you did not let her down. you loved her and you'll continue to love her. and she will continue to love you. you had an in-home euthanasia to make it easier on her -- you did not let her down!

you can still have a funeral or memorial and bury her ashes or get a pretty urn and hang onto them.

please give yourself some grace. it's a heartbreaking and stressful time, move slowly and you'll find your way through this.

sending love and hugs to you and light and love for your little one

dreaded the time their beloved fur baby leaves them, and many have experienced that pain all too often. I certainly have and my current sweet Aussie/Border Collie is approaching 15 years, though stable right now.

Just know that we understand and are reaching out with virtual hugs and love. Tincture of time will help. For me, long walks listening to sad music to let myself cry as much as I wanted/needed, sans having people around for weeks, DID help. But it was 18 months (and arm-twisting by my local animal rescue) before I could even think of having another. Once I did, my Sophie did heal a big hole in my heart, so consider that for yourself and perhaps consider another when you are ready.

I am sorry.

Sending you love and hugs.

It's so hard to lose a family member. Perhaps you could have some sort of service when you get her ashes back?

I have had my cats creamated all by the same pet cremation service. It's been no different than the process is for human cremations. It takes a few weeks for the ashes to be returned. You can pick out a special urn for the ashes if that is your preference. When my oldest passed this summer, her cremains came back in a pretty tin box with her ashes bagged and tagged. They were easy to bury on our property. Before my vet sends out the ashes, they place the paw and nose prints on the sympathy cards they mail out.

but the loss never goes entirely away. At least that's been my experience. If I were you, I'd go ahead with the cremation and maybe, rather than bury the ashes, scatter them where she had her best times.

And I still think of her often. Please don't beat yourself up over what you do with her body, she does not really care.
You loved her and that is what she knew. Do something when the ashes come back.
Maybe whoever else she was important to whatever, there is no 'right or correct' way to grieve.
Writing this I have tears in my eyes for our girl, for your girl and for you.
You are honoring her with this post asking for you fellow DUers for help, for community.
We also just lost one of our cats 2 weeks ago. So this is raw for me for that reason too.
You gave her love and a good life, you have not let her down in any way.

I'm so sorry for your loss. My wife and I lost our 13 year old Golden mix on Monday after Easter in 2021. I walked her every morning if it wasn't raining and Saturday morning she couldn't get up. We rushed her to the vet and she had bone cancer. They gave her a shot to ease the pain so she could spent Easter with us. Our children and grand children came over and we all had a good steak. My son drove us to the vet Monday morning and he put her down. I sat in the room alone with her crying for almost an hour until they needed the room for another animal. We had her cremated and it took about two weeks to get her ashes.

Her ashes are on a chest in our bedroom with a picture of her with us together in happier times. We don't regret the cremation because we are also going to be cremated and our ashes scattered with hers at my wife's family cemetery. We both cried about her for months after, in fact I have tears in my eyes just writing this.

After losing her, we thought we would never get another dog. But we missed having a dog so 14 months later we adopted a 6 month old Boxer/Pyrennes mix. He will be 4 years old on Dec. 21 and we love him very much, but in a different way. We are in our early 70s and we intend to have his ashes with us when he dies.

Hang in there it gets better!

welcome to DU Ihatcher2

Sending you love & hugs as you journey through the loss of your beloved fur baby.

I have been through this a few times and it is a process. My Lily, a yellow lab, passed a few years ago and I remember the grief I felt for quite a while.

You love them so dearly and deeply. Take care of yourself and good advice about a possible grief counseling. She will always be with you in your heart.

This week I am barely enduring the loss of two dogs and a parent one year ago. My darling Chi Chi and Daddy on the 9th and my sweet Butterbean on the 13th. So, I'm grieving with you.

Stay strong. Follow your heart.

We love you, Silver Gaia.



❤️

I am overwhelmed at your kindness and the wisdom you've all shared with me tonight. You have helped immensely. I will have more to say to each of you after I have slept. I will try to find a way to post photos of her, too. Her name was/is Fionna and she was a sable border collie, meaning she was red and white. She was beautiful. She was my sweet, smart, sassy baby girl and I will miss her always.

Thank you, DU.

I, like many other people on this site, know your pain. We try so hard to do the right thing for our furry friends.

I’m so, so sorry for your loss. You have expressed so well the unique grief that washes over after losing a beloved companion, and the wrenching sense of separation after many years of closeness.

You did so many things right, acting to ease her suffering and having her home with you at the last. These are actions coming from love, so I know what a wonderful life your girl had with you.

When our sweet Bodie, who was also euthanized at home in our arms, was taken away by the vet, I lit a candle next to a photo of her, and told her of my gratitude for our time together, each day until her ashes were returned.

We will be thinking of you and wishing you healing and peace.

fur babies are family

over a grave. I have 12 urns of all my fur babies and instruction that, on my death, I be cremated and all of our ashes be mixed together.

I felt her presence and she stayed with me in spirit.
I still feel her many years later.

If you can get through the fog of grief see if you can feel her with you now.

loving arms, and send peace and comfort to her grieving loved ones.

I am so very sorry for the loss of your precious baby girl. hugggggggs. Know that your DU family is here for you. Lean as hard as you need.

The ashes will be in metal box and can be dealt with whenever. No need to dig a deep grave
they can be scattered in a garden, along a path you used to walk along, or in a park you used to
to go to. Don’t beat yourself up her remains she is gone but will live on in your heart.

A sad but simple truth the more you guys loved each other the more you will hurt and that is
O.K.. BTW when they return her ashes do not go for any upselling of urns and such if necessary
have a friend there who can say no.

Check with your vet I am sure there are pet grief groups around you area and maybe a pet shelter
might need somebody like you to talk to their dogs.

My cat Wolfie passed a few weeks ago. My husband is 76 and I knew Wolfie would not have wanted him to drop dead while trying to dig. So I had Wolfie cremated. It was hard. While I waited for the remains, I found Wolfie's brush, still full of fur. So I still have something of him. Please extend the comfort to yourself that your sweet baby girl would want for you, the love she left behind for you. I will sprinkle Wolfie's ashes in the backyard, in his backyard. I am so sorry for your profound loss.

Try to remember that she's no longer with her body, whether she's cremated or not. I really believe that we'll be reunited with our pets one day.

My heart is with you. (((((Hug))))

For your sweet girl