My reality feels unreal
So, I'm actually having more pain putting ice on my neck. Jaw hurts. Then I turned on the news. The combination of lifetime pain and watching an immigrant give a nazi salute has me very depressed. Ordered food delivery from wall mat as i do and completely confused. Its supposed to be delivered but its coming from the further wall mat. Now I'm wrrd bc Ive already been screamed at by my partner and threatened with money. I'm just sitting here almost in a fugue state. If they don't deliver then I don't know what is going on. I got an email saying it'll be delivered. I'm not allowed to post on fb bc my ssdi receiving sister gets upset. I'm sure she's happy he's starting the immigrant purge today.
I feel like i wish i could just fall asleep forever. I don't even have a desire to talk to my cousin anymore.
Not doing well
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You are important to us here
The ice or heat thing is hard to figure out. For years I used a heating pad on my neck/migraines and one day I tried ice and it was a hundred times more effective. It's just that it's hard to get motivated to use ice--it's really uncomfortable, especially this time of year. But then a bunch of studies came along saying it's better to use heat on pain and that ice may actually slow healing, so I just felt obligated to pass that along.
Your post is very serious, so I have to apologize for laughing out loud when I got to this line. I haven't laughed this hard in a few days:
Please forgive me for finding that goddamn hilarious! That about sums up how messed up we are at this moment in history.
That feeling of unreality or surreality or being disconnected in some way from our surroundings: I don't know what it is or what causes it. In my case I suspect sleep deprivation could be part of it, but then I might have a good night's sleep and still feel it anyway. I'm just trying to roll with the punches. I'm really lucky that there are not places I need to be right now or work I have to do. If I still had a full time job I'd be so screwed.
I hope you feel better!
