... abusing you. Kick them out forthwith; and, don't look back on that decision! It's past time those mooching brats provided for themselves. Let social services deal with this problem.

I gave them that letter, and ended up allowing them to stay out of guilt and obligation. What else can I do? it's 3 against one. lol

...and if they are breaking up, THEN what happens? how do I kick my son out? I desert him as a mother and make it worse?
Yeah, guilt and duty are a bitch,

... the issue is child endangerment of that infant child. These people are not responsible enough to care for that child. Do any of them actually have a job where they work? This is a state social services problem. There are laws against people negligently caring for infants. Just how old is that son of yours and why isn't he working somewhere/anywhere if he has a family with an infant to support? Negligently failing/refusing to adequately support an infants welfare is a crime in every state. The issue is beyond these moochers "mooching" off of you -- that infant is not being properly supported financially with the requisite necessities of life, i.e. you cannot have infant children living in broken down motorhomes without electricity -- there are state welfare laws which prohibit this conduct.

He got laid off back in Kansas and they were on the skids and I have no idea what went on back there but I know it wasn't good. That's why I tried to get them out here to get them stable.
Otherwise I don't know what else to do and the child is not my grandchild however yes I do know that a shitty situation for that kid. CPS in California is not as thorough in my county as one would hope

I've had similar relationships with people I love, and looking back now, I wish we all could have recognized that maybe the biggest obstacle to a peaceful life was the pain we each held individually, for our own individual reasons.

I think maybe our separate pain was made us so vulnerable to unintentional hurt from those we loved, and I think maybe if we had all kept that thought in the forefront of our interactions with each other, it may have made for more consideration, and more desire to keep our relationships positive, helpful, and hopeful for ourselves, for the others, and for our family as a whole.

I really do wish all of you the best.

It's really about keeping my sanity right now amidst the triggers.

My son is horrible, I know that. I just got agressive speech about asking about help with recycling.

I am not capable of handling this all by myself. All I can do is revert to my old habit of running away until it stops. I know this is childhood crap all over again. My son has become my Father. But it's worse because there's this "responsibility" factor...and I brought them out here and made promises. I just wanna fulfill my obligation and be done.

It's never that easy is it?

...that was an absolute lifeline for me.

And yes, I agree that taking care of yourself first ( without guilt for doing that) is imperative and correct.

Because you are clearly going to have to move forward with things you don't want to do and will end up shouldering guilt over it (however undeserved/unearned).

I'd hate to see that they have made you start drinking again. Can you use this excuse to go to AA meetings to get away from the situation---as well as to have some support for yourself and perhaps a sponsor with whom to "vent?"
(On edit, I see that you are seeing a counselor, so maybe this point is moot)...

Finally... Noise- canceling earbuds?--spring on the Bose ones if you can. I know how nerve-grinding constant crying from a baby can be, especially in light of everything else going on. Good luck.

I've got my speaker in my room playing my music.

At least I got my room set up as a mini-office space too. So I can chill in here comfortably.

Maybe when he's 30, he'll realize how he treated me. idk

My parents passed, god I'd never talk or treat them like this. Thank goodness by the end my folks and I had come a long way and I understood how they were products of their generation. And they softened quite a lot, my mom was always my protector...believe me I've been talking to her spirit a LOT

Immediately. You don't need the grief and aggravation, and you are not the one responsible for their situation. Period.

This is a matter for the State Welfare Services. It is also a matter for the State's Child Welfare Services. If the Mother and the Father of that infant can't properly provide and properly care for that infant -- that infant needs to be protected even if foster care is required. That's the law in every state.

What the hell else am I supposed to do? It's not like I can call CPS to my house. And make it seem like it's anonymous. And the one in our county is very lacking because I have worked in education and reported parents before for lesser things...

I know she's being abused verbally I know the baby is in a bad situation I know all of this I just want it out of my space so I can heal my fucking trauma that my fucking ex tried to kill me 3 months ago

Of course you should report them.

I don't know what county in California you are in. Get help. This isn't your cross to carry nor is it your burden to support these irresponsible adult people with that infant. There are statutes and laws in California which affirmatively protect infants like this one who have irresponsible people improperly caring for that infant's welfare. Your county's Department of Public Social Services will deal with these issues. If that woman is not responsible enough to make the Father of that infant pay his responsible share of child support for that infant, the county attorney in your county will enforce those payments against that deadbeat Father. You need to get these deadbeat people out of your house -- the sooner, the better -- if they don't voluntarily leave, you need to take affirmative action. It begins by contactng the country child welfare offices and the county attorney if these irresponsible people continue to act irresponsibly and inappropriately. As I said earlier -- this is a problem for the social services -- it is not your problem and making it your problem only compounds the problem and exacerbates it as you are not financially capable of effectively dealing with it and properly resolving it. Moveover, this problem will continue and fester and get worse until something is, in fact, done about it. These people will do nothing to resolve it until the State of California forces them to act and even then, they may not act, thus forcing the State to remove that infant from their negligent care.

... will take affirmative action to help that woman with that infant. The Mother with that dependent infant likely will be provided with a housing voucher for government subsidized housing; Food Stamps; CalFresh Food aid/benefits; Supplemental Nutritional Assistance Program (SNAP); CalWorks program; Aid for Dependent Children; a monetary stipend of several hundred dollars; and, most important, Medi-Cal as well as medical care for that infant as it is highly unliikely that this infant has received the proper medical care nor has received all the requisite infant immunizations and vaccinations for infant illnesses as required by the State of California which could cause infant mortality. That infant probably needs immediate medical attention. Similarly, the deadbeat son who for whatever reason can't seem to find a job here in California with its low unemployment rate would likewise be subsidized so that he will no longer be mooching off of you and just may get his irresponsible ass to work at some job.

If she leaves him, she could effectively go to the El Dorado county here in California and try to get shelter or something but I don't even know if that's available cuz we're so rural. He's got a job in Reno they're looking for an apartment in Carson I don't know what else to do or who to contact at this point and calling the sheriff seems like a drastic measure. I know the child missed her last immunizations they told me that themselves she's going to be too in March and she's not talking very much either because they don't spend the time with her it breaks my heart...

He is not the father she left the abusive ex when the baby was 2 months old he still back in Kansas. I have no idea what that story is. If she breaks up with him she'll probably want to go back to Kansas and live with her meth mother which is even worse. Or her jailbird deadbeat dad. That's how fucked up her family is.

All I know how to do is try to clear my own space and my own head. I don't even have another therapy appointment until Wednesday so I'm sitting here with all of this in my own belly. I am in no condition to deal with any of it but I also know that calling anybody on Monday won't result in any movement or action and if anybody comes to my house I'm going to end up getting in trouble for just housing them probably I don't know

Cal. Code Regs. Tit. 22, § 50019 - Aid to Families with Dependent Children (AFDC)

Aid to Families with Dependent Children (AFDC) means the public assistance program that provides a cash grant and Medi-Cal to children deprived of parental support or care and their eligible relatives.

Get them help. Do it Tuesday when the State government offices are back open after the holiday.

I at least got that off my chest and told her that I want to call social services but I don't know who or what to do and I don't want to turn on Devin my own son, but I know he's abusing them and the baby's being neglected as a result and I know that it's not her fault but it's still fucked up. And at least I got it off my chest and I haven't heard a response.

But I'm literally sitting here in a parking lot crying because I can't go home😞

And that Devin is working on his stuff and that they are both working on their stuff. So there's nothing for me to do except get them the fuck out of my house. And once they're gone maybe I can call CPS on their new apartment I don't know. Devon says he's staying in the bedroom to avoid arguments I guess I'll just stay in my corner until it's time for them to go