Please remind yourself that mistakes are average, and average people make mistakes. Wouldn't be human if we didn't! Drop your judgment against yourself, focus on healing and don't look back. You are a strong and valuable person. Look forward!

Best wishes.

You have a long way to go before you are thinking anything like rationally. The stairs are not the scary part. The scary part is being drunk and falling down them.

It doesn't have to be like this, and you hold the power to change it.

I spent a week in a hospital after I burned a hole through my esophagus slurping up as much cheap rum as I could. And still I didn't stop. Drank another 19 months after until, finally, I'd had enough.

Sober twenty-seven years now (and counting).

Good luck, Jeffrey. Remember: It doesn't have to be like this. You can get better.