As with you, loss of a pet is almost worse for me than the loss of a relative. I perceive that at least a good part of that is the narrow bandwidth we typically share. You can't express your remorse and regret, they can end up in so much discomfort that their unconditional love can be fleeting.

You will get through this. Don't be shy about sharing your feelings. It's the next best thing to proper, timely grieving.

I'm so sorry to read about your good boy.

It's difficult losing them. It's never easy as they're a part of the family. It's also difficult to comfort those who have felt that lose. Please know that we're here for you.

I'm sending an abundance of love and positive vibes to you and your family. ❤️

Please be well.

Cry and scream if you need to. And tell us about it. Lots of sympathy here

through your writings and telling us about your life - the ups and the downs.

I'm sending virtual hugs and hope you can find some real ones nearby!

It flies by for most of us. I don't know why we're born, but I think it's important to do good things, and you have done a lot for others. So just know that you have led a good life and before you know it, it'll all be over. Take care of yourself, too, Lucky Charms, and try to enjoy the time you have left.

Be kind to yourself and your loved ones, and take care.

…possible. I hope that he is able to see you as he transitions. I think that would be a comfort.

My black lab Brody was looking at me as he went to sleep. He passed while sleeping. I can see his eyes even though he died in 2017.

I can feel the love in your words. I know your guy can too!

I know exactly how you feel.
I've struggled with similar unresolved trauma and yes, we're kind of stuck in an emotional time capsule that injects itself into every thing happening now and it's brutal.

I also understand why your pets elicit stronger responses, after all, they've never abused you!

God Speed my friend, your baby knows you'll do right by him. Please give yourself permission to feel everything inside you, and please be comforted by the joy and happiness he so freely offered all these 15 years.

I'm sorry.

"Buy the ticket, take the ride."

The ride always ends, though. It's inevitable. Remembering those who came before us is natural. It's all part of aging and facing what's yet to come. Someday our children and grandchildren will look at photos of us, remembering our brief existence on this plane. That, too, is inevitable. Why worry about the inevitable?

Don't let those thoughts linger. That leads to depression, and depression is worthless and fruitless. You'll be alright. We all go through it.

I can just say that I have let multiple cats go, and cried harder for them than most people.
If your dog is 15, and it is his time, then I can just say what I have sensed with my cats; that just being there with them and comforting each other may be what they want most when they move on.
My eyes are tearing with my memories as I write this.

Nothing prepares us for loss. Especially when we lose a companion that gives unconditional love.

I'm holding you in my heart. Stay encouraged.

We love you. ❤️

As you are going thru this heartbreaking time. I believe our love for our furry family is a deep bond and different from our love for humans because the loss is so intense..they’re not just a pet but they are a part of us. I lost my Sweetheart, Angie, almost six years ago next week and I’m still not over her. They love us unconditionally and we return that connection to them. We’ll be waiting to hear how you and your good boy are doing and wishing the best for both of you. 🌺.

People become increasingly sensitized to repeated exposures to trauma over time. Trauma leads to changes in the brain. Earlier traumas make later traumas even harder to bear. Something that wouldn't be profoundly distressing the first time it happens can be profoundly distressing when it happens for the tenth time, or is preceded by nine different but also traumatic experiences. With multiple trauma exposures, people eventually reach a point where ordinary functioning, even in a familiar and safe environment, becomes difficult. It's not weakness, it's neurology. Sometimes people who have been knocked around by life can be helped by professionals who work with PTSD.

And deny it. In the last 20 years I have had to put down 10 dogs. I love giant breeds and each one ripped me apart but I accept the pain because they give me joy in a very difficult world. My current rescue has problems with joint pain and the vet gives him monthly shots, please ask your vet if it will help your doggie. Peace.

I am the only living member of my family left. My entire blood relation family is gone now, except for my daughter. And I lost my best friend, a 14 (almost 15) year old Border Collie, last December for very similar reasons. I felt euthanasia guilt for months because part of me felt I did not have the right to make that decision for her. It has been rough. My grief for her has been the deepest, and is still with me, but better now. So, you have my sympathies from a knowing place. If you need to talk to someone who has had similar experiences, I'm here for you. Just send me a message. Nonetheless, you have my understanding and support. Be well.

Please don't be so hard on yourself.. you definitely do not deserve it..

My heart breaks for this moment and "good boy" You'll be running with the big dogs soon..

Losing unconditional love is the hardest loss. You and your good boy gave it your all and so you tumble further.

You and Sheltie have been in my prayers.

I’m so sorry, Lucky. They are family and don’t deserve the suffering that they endure. I hope by the time you read this, you have received a miracle.

Good people deserve a miracle every once in a while.

The main thing I took from that was that part of being human, being alive was loving someone so much that when they died it caused immense sorrow. That immense sorrow was part of loving someone and just as important as any of it. It was natural and something you were supposed to experience. That to never have that immense sorrow would never let you cherish the love you had like you are supposed to. So let yourself feel that immense sorrow, it doesn't make your life a performance or make you weak. It makes you human.
Keep on keeponing and a big hug to ya.
Eko.

Remember the happy times....
Let him cross the Rainbow Bridge now and his pain will be gone.
And some happy day you'll see each other again.

I am still not over losing my two doggies and it has been almost twelve years since the first one passed.

I miss them every single day.

My little buddy is getting bad. Legs giving out. Eyes with cataracts. But still is responsive to play…kinda.
This dog has literally saved my life twice. He still takes care of me .

Feeling for you both.

It just doesn’t seem fair to either side of the equation.

Nothing is going to help but time. Can’t exactly replace parents so hang onto your wife and open your heart to another baby sooner rather than later because it’s the only thing that keeps us from pining over our lost ones. I’m sure there’s someone out there waiting for you when you’re ready (and probably least expect it).

Been through losing all of the family. Now, I wonder when the hammer will drop on on me and the sibs. Cuz, it's going to happen...probably sooner than later.


https://music.

I happen to be right there with you today. We are losing my sisters lovely beagle to cancer very soon, possibly tomorrow

And of course I’m thinking about all the dogs I have loved

So, try to focus on loving him as much as you can, try to make it easy for him, cook him some yummy things

I’ll be thinking about you

Hugs, hugs, and more hugs.

I'm just an old woman with no special insights, but I had a few thoughts while reading this. First, you are not weak. In my opinion you are strong to have endured 200 funerals as a child. You were also likely frightened, bewildered, and to a certain extent traumatized. I suspect you built a bit of a protective shield. Who wouldn't under those circumstances? Now you're older, the shield is cracking a bit and you're going to have to say goodbye to your good boy. Any person with an ounce of feeling would be weeping right now. God bless. Take care of yourself and I hope you have someone you can share your feelings with.

You say you're an old woman...well, old women have a lot of wisdom.

feel them, they make us human. good boy just loves you. you have to do what is right for you both, or rather all three of you. sorry it is so rough, but again if it wasn't so wrenching you would be a shitty person.

the death of my pets hits me way harder than humans. What goes through my mind is that this animal trusted me for everything in its life and now it is trusting me to put it down as I held him/her in my arms. Awful.

especially by yourself. FrankTC is right, it's cumulative but it's never too late to get help. Healing can happen at any age.

If there is even a remote possibility that is what is going on it is worth looking into.

IVDD: intervertebral disc disease. That was about a year ago. The vet wanted me to put her down then, but her cognition was just fine and didn't think it was necessary. She told me I had to rest the dog completely. I did this. For 2 months I carried her out to potty, put her in her bed. My back nearly gave out from all this bending and lifting so I put her dog bed in a beach wagon so I could haul her around the house with me, out to the back yard. We put a strap around her hind quarters to position her to use the bathroom when she went outside. When she was able to walk again, we put outdoor rugs on all the pathways in the house so she didn't have to fight the laminate floors to stay upright.It was a lot of effort, but she got better. She is still with us and I don't know how much longer she will be here--she declines a bit each day, but she is a sweet old lady and we'll do what she needs. When the time comes that she needs to cross over, we will help her do that too, if we need to. It is hard to lose them. God...so hard. But I am grateful for every moment I have with her and all the moments I had with her son, before he transitioned.

Please try and remind yourself of this fact. 🩷

Bcz of my previous profession I euthanized many pets and hard time cases. The majority of the cases owners would tell endearing stories about their pets. Antics. Silliness. I never felt bad bcz there's a moment for me as a medical professional that I could witness their moment of peace. I wish we could do this for humans. Good luck. It will be okay.

ones is very painful.

We're here for you, and there are grief support groups online and off that can help. Including the Bereavement forum here.

I got two very important things from grief support groups. The first was the emotional support, the reminder that as hard as grieving is, we get through it, and people will help you through it.

The second was hearing so many stories, personal stories, of experiences people who were grieving had had to reassure them their loved ones are still very much alive on the other side, and there will be reunions, including with pets. I'm not religious - left the Catholic Church in my teens - but I believe because of all those personal stories I heard, and some experiences I had myself, that we all have those reunions to look forward to (and no religious beliefs or rituals are necessary, no matter what some authoritarian faiths try to teach). Believing that doesn't take away the pain of saying goodbye here, because it's still a separation. And we don't know how long that separation might be. But those ADCs (after-death communications that have nothing to do with mediums) and NDEs (near death experiences) are reminders that there is an afterlife. You might have had some ADCs yourself. I discovered with grief support groups that when people felt free to talk about their own experiences, quite a few people had stories to relate. Including about pets.

I wish you weren't facing having to say goodbye to your good boy soon. But I'm sure you will see him again.

I'm still grieving my girl pup immensely.

Moreso than grieving my husband.

I found out that it is not unheard of.

I pray for you and yours for comforting peace and consolation.

Also, for you to hear some day:

+"Well done, good and faithful servant!"+

❤️❤️❤️

this storm. We are with you.

You are not alone. It's a crappy roller coaster ride emotionally.

In my semi-retirement I started a little dog walking business. The hardest part is when one of my furry clients has reached the end of their life.

I've had clients express regret about waiting too long. I reassure them that they did the best they could. If they weren't ready sooner, they weren't ready. I'm sure they did the best they could.

I have never heard a client express regret that they chose to euthanize their beloved pet too soon.

Knowing that, if you are able, I would encourage you to act soon to give your beloved a pain-free passing. I think that doing this is both an obligation and perhaps the most important gift we can give a beloved companion animal.

If you are not able, you aren't able. I know that you are doing your best. And your pup knows how much you love him.

there has been a severe shortage of vets in my area.
The closest one is an hour away, and neither one of us want to drive on backroads at night with our failing vision.

We are trying to keep him comfortable, and will bring him to the vet in the morning.

We are not strangers to this. We've had to put two beloved pets down before, he will be our third.

I'm grasping at straws trying to figure out how we can help him tonight. My wife has accepted the fact that he will most likely have to be put down.

It's ripping me apart because he is stoic, but his breathing is labored...so I know he is in pain.

Blankets and pillows everywhere. It is a memory that will stay with me forever. I like to believe she rested more comfortably, somehow knowing it would be over soon, comforted by our presence.

The pain and closeness Dusty and I felt there with K.D. was so bittersweet. Something I would never hope to have to experience, but an incredibly special memory.

Your good boy knows you and your wife are there with him.

while he is on the floor sleeping beside her.

He needs to be on a hard surface...he can't move on a mattress. I'm going to grab a pillow soon and lay on the floor with I'm tonight.

and the bigger male came to this exact point - he would not get up. Once we got him to the Vet the next day, they said he had a big mass in his abdomen and they wouldn't recommend operating because he was already 13 years old and very sick. Just keep him comfortable tonight and enjoy this time w/him. You are doing your best for him, and I can tell you've been an amazing pet owner.

Your heart is so big … I am so fortunate to be on this planet with you

You truly are one of the most special of people … I can only wish there were more people just like you. The world would be so much kinder.

My arms are always around you 🫂🫂🫂

We just need someone to tell us that we're good people.

That's all.

That's all we need.

That's what makes us feel better.

Thank you.

I'm fortunate to be on this planet with you as well.

Last edited Tue Jun 30, 2026, 09:39 AM - Edit history (1)

suddenly died has had me grieving for 6 years. The pain never goes away. Do not force it and do NOT listen to those who tell you that "you should do so and so to get over it" in a time frame. They are not supporting you...ignore them! Everyone grieves in their own way and time, no 2 are alike.

Both of my dogs visited me after they died and my dad did twice. One still visits me and I always feel glad afterwards. Visits from pets happen a lot more often than people realize. Too many are afraid to admit it since they may be called "crazy". I've found this out over the past few years of research and personal accounts. I could DU Mail you info if you'd like.

I am with you with love and empathy. I KNOW what hell is and it's loosing our 4 legged babies.

I think I had one visit from my good boy a couple of weeks after he died. God, I miss him. I gotta quit talking about it now. But if you can will you please send me that info too?

I've walked at least part of a mile in those shoes.

I'm 80, the last survivor of my family. No kids, Sister didn't have any either.

You have a huge heart, and you are doing your best for doggie. That is so hard.

My little partner of 39 years is my rock, and I think I am hers. So we are blessed in that way.

As a 32 year member of AA I have found that sometimes I need to focus on just today.

All my best to you, LuckyCharms. Or maybe not so lucky today.

And I'm so proud of her tonight.

She cries pretty much every day over world events, and I console her daily.

But in this situation, she is stronger than me...and I'm so proud of her for picking up the slack when I am unable to.

Her words to me tonight: "You have no idea of the tough times you brought me through, and I will do the same for you now".

You have each other. I too know what it is to feel like the loss of one being has shattered your world no matter how many loved ones remain by your side (I've lost so many people and pets in the past six years that, at this point, I have started joking I must be the boatman on the river Styx - the big two are my husband of 20+ years to COVID without a goodbye, and my mama to a stage 4 brain tumor within 11 months of each other and, most recently, my own beloved furbaby Bellatrix just three months ago).

The people that surround you during such times is the only thing that can even begin to get you through the suffering. Your wife is a wonderfully evolved spirit in that she recognizes the reciprocity of it all.

Thank you for being the loving heart that you are, and I've no doubt that your good boy knew it too and enjoyed every moment with you and your wife. Blessings to you both for taking such good care of him. Sending you so much light and love as you undertake the solemn responsibility of guiding him across.

and a way back to lightness.

I have been grieving. I bought "How to Carry What Can't be Fixed: A Journal for Grief"" by Megan Devine. She also wrote the book "It's OK That You're Not OK." She feels grief is not a problem to be solved, but rather an experience to be carried. This is helping me.

Sending warm and healing thoughts your way.
Please take care of yourself, if you need someone to listen pm me anytime

famous bestest healing vibes LuckyCharms!

make it all that much easier.

Please let the grief pass through, don't grow numb.

You are very kind and loving person. Grief is the price of love my friend, and the pain is cumulative with more losses. Letting go of my fur babies was the hardest act of love I’ve ever done.
I am so sorry for your pain

One step at a time

Pets become important members of our families, our best friends, our companions. They learn our moods, our habits and schedules like we learn their daily habits and schedules. It hurts to lose a pet, cherish the memories and the pain soon fades.

I hope all goes well my friend.

You are surrounded by love, so just let yourself float on it for now. You are stronger than you know, but trust your wife when she tells you that she's got this one and that she will pull you through this heartbreaking time just as you have pulled her through in those moments when she was the one in need. When my dad died, there were times when I felt that my dearest friends were like the dolphins in the legends of shipwrecked sailors, pushing me up to the surface and guiding me safely to the shore when I felt like I was sinking. Your wife and your friends, here and in real life, will do the same for you. I am praying hard for you, your wife, and your beloved puppy dog. He knows that he too is surrounded by love tonight, just has he has always been since he came into your life. I wish I could take away the sadness, but the best I can do is to remind you that you will experience happiness and peace again. That is what I truly believe, and what you just as truly deserve, dear Lucky Charms.

I've lost so many fur babies over the years, and it always pains me greatly. I love my kids. I've also lost my big brother and best friend, two sisters, and both parents. We were close.... So much loss can be very hard to cope with for anybody.

Can you give your boy an aspirin? That's about as good as anything. If he won't take it in a hotdog or piece of cheese, hold his mouth open and two finger it down his throat (while telling him it will make him feel ever so much better, and he's the bestest boy ever.) Try to keep him as comfortable as possible till you can get to the vet tomorrow. Focus positive healing and loving thoughts on him. He knows how sad you are.

Please keep us posted. Most of us have been where you are, and we're with you.

You are loved. Right here on this site you are loved by hundreds, maybe thousands of people. Real people who love you for who you are.

Your kindness, your empathy, your strength and grit and humor. We love you.

For who you are. A good person.

I don't really pray, but I know some of the pain you are feeling and so I will send healing thoughts for you. I lost my good boy last month and my heart breaks all over again every time I think of him. I seem to grieve the hardest for my pets too--maybe something is wrong with me, but I've just had so much more quality time with them than people--I get so close to them. I am so sorry you're having to process yet another loss when you've not even found a way to live with so many other losses. Lately I have been just not allowing myself to cry because it only makes me cry more and I end up feeling worse than if I had never let the tears flow. It seems to help--for a while anyway. I also have a 15 year old dog--she's the mother of the one I lost last month. I tell myself when I lose her, it won't be as bad as losing Emo--I loved him more than life. But I knew this was going to be the year I'd lose them both. You are right, life can be so damned tragic. I guess the best we can do at times like this is to know there are some people who care and who would relieve you of your pain if they could. And if I could, I surely would, LuckyCharms. Take care. I am thinking of you and sending healing thoughts for you and your good boy.

I'd be willing to bet that you gave your good boy the best life he could have ever had. He knows you love him and he's going to trust you with this, no matter what. You've always done right by him and you're going to do it again, no matter how much it hurts. And that's why he always believed in you.

I'm very sorry for your suffering, but always know you did everything you could for your buddy. All he could ask and more. Forgive yourself, because you are not doing anything wrong here. You're just squeezing out that last little bit of love.

And I'm so sorry, LC. I've lost so many cats through the years as well as a border collie and a most excellent leonburgher... the latter on xmas day 10 years ago. As he was a helper companion the loss was truly acute.

A couple of decades ago I had several rescues who found me. They were all about the same age and they're all approaching the age where I'll lose one right after another. I have no idea how I'll live thru it. It will tear me to pieces. I love these babies so very much.

I'm just an old woman now, contemplating my own mortality and not handling it so well, IMO. What was the point and did I pass muster? As a Vietnam veteran did i still stay true to my humane nature? What comes next... a grand new adventure or simple nothingness? These are things that occupy my mind, even as I make sure any of my babies who survive me are taken care of. But gods LC, I so feel your pain and loss.please be kind to yourself and know how very dear you are to those of us here. Many hugs...

You've been through so much. Sending you love and light. Please give your sweet baby

some "loves" from me. Will be thinking of you and your furbaby.

he is already struggling a lot and it would take a few days to get the wheelchair and to figure out how to use it unless someone had a used one nearby. Not a simple endeavor depending on the size of your dog to get him into either. It is so hard not being able to help those we love and having to say goodbye. Sending much love, prayers and healing to you and your boy.

My parents disappeared when I was 14. You think you coped with it all but when life gets really difficult the early grief can blindside you again. Get help if you need it, lean on the people who love you (here too) and be kind to yourself while you ride the wave again. As they say, this too shall pass.

I've euthanized more dogs and cats than I want to count (my pets, not other people's pets during the years I worked for vets). I'm honestly glad that people now recognize how great that grief is; when I was young most people said stupid things like, she was just a dog, or a cat. (Come to think of it i heard a lot of "snap out of it" when my parents disappeared. To be fair there aren't really good words to comfort people when they are dealing with tragedy. ) None of my dogs made it to 15, so you were an amazing dog parent if that's comforting.

Sometimes after I let them go, I feel like I catch glimpses of them, frolicking, out of pain, happy. It helps, but they are still not where you can cuddle them. I always deal with the loss by getting a new dog or cat to love but that doesn't work for everyone.
The Dutch expression is "sterkte." I'm wishing you strength, luck and comfort.

to your good boy and to you. May you both find peace and comfort.

I am now the eldest of my family. I know that I'm much closer to death now. That seems normal to me. The deaths and terminal illnesses that are most emotional for me are those younger than me. My baby sister last Christmas Eve was the worst. Currently it's a woman in her early 40s with a really aggressive cancer.

It is good that I feel this pain more so than when I was younger. I don't say enjoy it, but empathy is good.

Know that you are deeply loved and that no one ends or begins. We always are.

comedy, in the sense of life's vagaries happening to us common folk, though too often we feel it as a tragedy, as a form of our own downfall from some internal flaw.

But there is no flaw in loving.

Though it might comfort you little or not at all, know that you are not alone; no one truly is, until we ourselves pass, and with us the memories that kept others present.

In the past decade, I have lost my husband, mother, cousins, and three of my 6 friends (two of whom are really only acquaintances by now). At 76, without siblings or children, it's not always easy!

But I have never had a dog. So I have experienced neither that unconditional love nor the inevitable heartbreak of loss. That you have had the former in your life will afford you the strength to live with the latter.

And that's what makes you Lucky Charms, indeed.

🙏

....my 9 yr old Golden is 20 pounds over weight. Most healthy Goldens live to12 max. Im 75 and Im not going to get another dog and have a Gene Hackman situation. I Iive far from people no family around and hubby fighting dementia..if something happened to me, my dog would suffer. I only drive to town once a week as its a 20 mile rt. Also i can NOT euthanize another best friend. When shes gone who will make me smile and laugh?
Im not depressed, just aware.

Maybe we should have another forum where we all just check in on each other? For safety.....

Your boy is in my thoughts, give him a hug from me. Please hang in there...

There is no "right way." You'll make your own way.

I'm going to make another OP in a minute.

It's not through a lack of empathy, but the opposite. It takes me right back to having to put down our lovely little Cairn, Ozzie. (Wizard of Oz reference.) He was my first and last dog, and it still hurts to think about him. He was my wife's dog for 3 years before we met, so I lived with him for 13 years. Walked him virtually every day, (like 355 days a year, at least Almost certainly more) which was good for both of us.

He was crying softly every time he tried to make himself a little nest to sleep in, so, along with other symptoms, it was time to do it. I said we couldn't have another dog. I'm a few weeks away from 74 and just can't do it again. We got a cat, but it's just not the same. At all.

I can't tell you how sorry I am that another human being has to go through this.

Brave and courageous by allowing yourself to be vulnerable. You are the opposite of being weak. I'm grateful that I know you. I think you did know that life is suffering, and you chose it anyway. That's another act of your courage and compassion. I also think your wife would be grateful when you show your vulnerability as well. You give her a chance to be strong for you and everyone wants to be there for the one they love.

My beloved dog, Tashi died last July, and I'm still a mess. She died at home because I couldn't bring myself to take her to a cold sterile room after a traumatic car ride. I fed her pain pills and muscle relaxers and held her and sang to her, and we hugged each other. I took her to be cremated, and I felt the fire start that took her body to ashes. She came to me one day and told me she had found her family of big dogs and I haven't seen her since.

There is a Buddhist tradition that says for 49 days, we live in the Bardo and so we say prayers for a more fortunate life for our loved one. Somehow it is a comfort. I think both for our loved one and ourselves. Om Mani Padme Hum (Behold the jewel in the lotus)

I'll miss your presence here, but I know that real life is truly being present. My arms are around you through the ether. You are an incredible human being and I feel lucky to know you.

and your words are soothing.

Thank you, White Tara.

I am a Christian. I'm not hard core religious, but I am indeed a Christian who is open minded and tends to embrace tenets from other religions as well. I also respect the beliefs of agnostics and atheists.

I was worried about Jona passing in a cold and sterile room as well. But in this case, the room was nice, with soft furniture. It was dimly lit, and calming. Unfortunately, that was not the case with our two previous dogs.

Tashi is still with you, White Tara. You might not be able to see her, but she's right there.

I feel lucky too know you, too.

It really isn't. Yes,doing it years ago would have been ideal, but doing it now could still do you a world of good. I encourage you to give it a try.

You are processing your pain and gaining empowerment that you think you lost..... Great start...it happens when YOU are ready....so, now ya know....we are all hear for you to grow.