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Mme. Defarge

(9,082 posts)
Sun Jun 7, 2026, 07:44 PM 21 hrs ago

Etiquette question -

At a dinner party of 4, how appropriate is it to start talking about a subject like quantum theory, that one or two of the guests know little about. It left me with the impression that the person who brought it up was trying to impress the other person with knowledge of it, perhaps at the expense of those left out of the conversation.

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Etiquette question - (Original Post) Mme. Defarge 21 hrs ago OP
After dinner brandy-and-cigars? no_hypocrisy 21 hrs ago #1
During the meal. Mme. Defarge 21 hrs ago #2
Was this in English or French? True Dough 21 hrs ago #3
Great advice! Mme. Defarge 21 hrs ago #4
A Subject I Would Never Bring Up ProfessorGAC 21 hrs ago #5
I'm sure it was meant to impress Mme. Defarge 21 hrs ago #6
Highly Likely ProfessorGAC 21 hrs ago #7
Formidable Mme. Defarge 20 hrs ago #9
"how appropriate is it?".... anciano 20 hrs ago #8
Merci! Mme. Defarge 20 hrs ago #10
I always thought people who bring up things like that were odins folly 20 hrs ago #11
Ah, mockery - Mme. Defarge 19 hrs ago #12
Inconsiderate, unless they were willing and able wnylib 19 hrs ago #13
Wanting to impress someone Mme. Defarge 19 hrs ago #14
"Inappropriate?" perhaps, indeed, "rude" is the better word. malthaussen 30 min ago #15

True Dough

(27,484 posts)
3. Was this in English or French?
Sun Jun 7, 2026, 07:50 PM
21 hrs ago

If the speakers were Anglais, could you have countered with your linguistic skills? And when they said, "Sorry, we don't understand French," you could have replied, "About as much as I understand about quantum theory."

If that didn't apply on this occasion, I have nothing witty to add. But I do think it's less than thoughtful to carry on a conversation that one or more members of a dinner party is incapable of following, at least for more than a few minutes.

Mme. Defarge

(9,082 posts)
4. Great advice!
Sun Jun 7, 2026, 07:54 PM
21 hrs ago

Will keep it in mind for future reference. And thank you for validating my take on it.

Merci,
Mme. D.

ProfessorGAC

(77,477 posts)
5. A Subject I Would Never Bring Up
Sun Jun 7, 2026, 07:56 PM
21 hrs ago

If someone else did, I'd be happy to expound on it, but it feels weird to bring up a subject where there's a 10,000 to 1 chance others could participate.

ProfessorGAC

(77,477 posts)
7. Highly Likely
Sun Jun 7, 2026, 08:03 PM
21 hrs ago

I had a guy being up femtochemistry at a party.
He knew practically nothing about chemistry but he must have read an article about it.
Trying to find something about chemistry I didn't know? Except, that I knew a guy from New Nexico Tech that was doing femtochemistry on detonating reactions so I knew something about it from an expert. Didn't go well for the guy who ran out of "facts" in a hurry.

odins folly

(661 posts)
11. I always thought people who bring up things like that were
Sun Jun 7, 2026, 08:58 PM
20 hrs ago

A bit full of themselves. I also feel it’s best to counter with the most absurd thing that pops into your head…

I was considering quantum theory, until I found there was more money and personal fulfillment in porn…..

But, that’s just me.

wnylib

(26,664 posts)
13. Inconsiderate, unless they were willing and able
Sun Jun 7, 2026, 09:08 PM
19 hrs ago

to translate the general gist into everyday language for the other guests.

I dated an English lit grad student years ago. He had a friend who was a physics major. There are topics in physics that interest me but I do not have the math and science background to read up on them. Sometimes I asked the physics major questions about physics concepts and developments and he was good at communicating concepts in language that I could follow.

However, my English lit grad student boyfriend was bored with physics even though he could understand the way it was being explained.

It worked out OK when the 4 of us were together. The physics major's girlfriend was an English major, so she discussed literature with my boyfriend while I discussed physics with her boyfriend.

One topic we all were interested in and agreed on was politics. This was the Watergate hearings era. Eventually we all turned to discussing it.

The physics major was not trying to impress anyone with his knowledge. He only answered my questions, very patiently. Our dates were not inconvenienced since they had a topic to share.

But the setting you describe sounds inconsiderate, especially since it was done to impress people.









malthaussen

(18,640 posts)
15. "Inappropriate?" perhaps, indeed, "rude" is the better word.
Mon Jun 8, 2026, 04:36 PM
30 min ago

A good reaction when the guy started to pontificate would have been "that's neither here nor there."

-- Mal

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