Being MAD, I already know. Cuz. I read it, all the time - front to back and bending the last page to get the real message.

43-Man Squamish is played on a five-sided field (called the Flutney). The teams consist of one right inside Grouch, one right outside Grouch, four Deep Brooders, four Shallow Brooders, five Wicket Men, three Offensive Niblings, four Quarter-Frummets, one Full-Frummet, two Overblats, two Underblats, nine back-up Finks, two Leapers, and a Dummy. Players carry large hooked sticks called Frullips, which they use to prevent opponents from carrying the Pritz to the endzone. The pritz is a small, spongy ball stuffed with bluejay feathers, carried in the mouth.

There are a number of additional rules dictating how to begin a match, proper scoring, icing on the snivel, who is a qualified referee, and what kind of sticking is and is not permitted. Although MAD magazine has received a number of letters claiming that some informal college teams and summer camp programs have begun (and continue) to play 43-man Squamish, on close inspection it is alway found that they are playing a degenerate hybrid that does not actually conform to the published rules.

when I was was doing a couple of tabs of Owsley acid.

Glad to see someone else who was raised on MAD Magazine!

were going to say "bailing out of your milfy neighbor's 2nd story window while trying to put your pants on when you hear her husband walking up the stairs".

It would be pretty entertaining. If you failed to medal, you'd get your ass kicked.