The DU Lounge

True Dough

(25,820 posts) Sat Nov 15, 2025, 07:36 AM Nov 15

What would your text message to Jesus be?

Something like, "Hey Jesus. You're a carpenter. Could you build me a new new deck? I'll even supply the materials."

29 replies

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Highlight:

What would your text message to Jesus be? (Original Post) True Dough Nov 15 OP

AI Jesus sop Nov 15 #1

And you thought the money lenders in the Temple were bad.. Chasstev365 Nov 15 #2

That's it underpants Nov 15 #6

WWYD? bottomofthehill Nov 15 #3

Are we seeing the beginning of an AI church? Haggard Celine Nov 15 #4

Where have you been It's been like 2000 years. Duncanpup Nov 15 #5

Stay the fuck out of government. nr doc03 Nov 15 #7

Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo........................ Lovie777 Nov 15 #8

Same results with a Magic 8 Ball Marthe48 Nov 15 #9

Are you okay with what these assholes are doing in your name? (n/t) OldBaldy1701E Nov 15 #10

Jesus, you got one job to do. chicoescuela Nov 15 #11

Hey, Jesus! PJMcK Nov 15 #12

You know True Dough Nov 15 #13

Good snark! PJMcK Nov 15 #16

You too, PJMcK! True Dough Nov 15 #18

Hey, Yehoshua; you want to come down here and bitch-slap Aristus Nov 15 #14

Is Herc ok with the usurpation of his 4 titles? GreenWave Nov 15 #15

Jesus is not omnipotent enough to communicate himself? Norrrm Nov 15 #17

How's it hanging? Solly Mack Nov 15 #19

I'm sensing True Dough Nov 15 #21

Well, it ain't a parable. Solly Mack Nov 15 #22

"Whoa! You're real? No fucking way!' Iggo Nov 15 #20

What does the "H." stand for? LudwigPastorius Nov 15 #23

I like your Christ. Rizen Nov 15 #24

"What's the best mulch for my rose beds in the fall?" JoseBalow Nov 15 #25

Where have you been? Weren't you supposed to come back years ago? Ocelot II Nov 16 #26

This is ridiculous and creepy. JBTaurus83 Nov 16 #27

For sure, yet millions of people actually believe in it JoseBalow Nov 16 #29

Could you ask your dad to smite this program and everyone associated with it? jls4561 Nov 16 #28

sop

(17,407 posts)

1. AI Jesus

Reply to True Dough (Original post)

Sat Nov 15, 2025, 07:40 AM

Nov 15

Chasstev365

(7,108 posts)

2. And you thought the money lenders in the Temple were bad..

Reply to True Dough (Original post)

Sat Nov 15, 2025, 07:49 AM

Nov 15

underpants

(194,864 posts)

6. That's it

Reply to Chasstev365 (Reply #2)

Sat Nov 15, 2025, 08:07 AM

Nov 15

bottomofthehill

(9,332 posts)

3. WWYD?

Reply to True Dough (Original post)

Sat Nov 15, 2025, 07:53 AM

Nov 15

Haggard Celine

(17,679 posts)

4. Are we seeing the beginning of an AI church?

Reply to True Dough (Original post)

Sat Nov 15, 2025, 07:54 AM

Nov 15

Creepy!

Duncanpup

(15,587 posts)

5. Where have you been It's been like 2000 years.

Reply to True Dough (Original post)

Sat Nov 15, 2025, 07:55 AM

Nov 15

doc03

(38,821 posts)

7. Stay the fuck out of government. nr

Reply to True Dough (Original post)

Sat Nov 15, 2025, 08:47 AM

Nov 15

Lovie777

(21,731 posts)

8. Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo........................

Reply to True Dough (Original post)

Sat Nov 15, 2025, 08:47 AM

Nov 15

no more prayers?

Marthe48

(22,708 posts)

9. Same results with a Magic 8 Ball

Reply to True Dough (Original post)

Sat Nov 15, 2025, 08:57 AM

Nov 15

Yes, no, and wait awhile.

OldBaldy1701E

(10,170 posts)

10. Are you okay with what these assholes are doing in your name? (n/t)

Reply to True Dough (Original post)

Sat Nov 15, 2025, 09:36 AM

Nov 15

chicoescuela

(2,641 posts)

11. Jesus, you got one job to do.

Reply to True Dough (Original post)

Sat Nov 15, 2025, 09:38 AM

Nov 15

Please hurry for the sake of the entire planet.

PJMcK

(24,738 posts)

12. Hey, Jesus!

Reply to True Dough (Original post)

Sat Nov 15, 2025, 09:41 AM

Nov 15

Prove your existence.

Why would you appear to sheep herders in an obscure corner of the world in a time without mass media? Show up today and use all the media— TV, radio, internet, social media, etc.— to broadcast your messages of peace and love. You would reach billions of people and expand Christianity.

In addition, you could clarify your messages that so many charlatans have bastardized.

But without evidence of your existence, I can’t be bothered.

By the way, you do know that your, the Bible, is chock full of contradictions and falsehoods, right?

True Dough

(25,820 posts)

13. You know

Reply to PJMcK (Reply #12)

Sat Nov 15, 2025, 09:44 AM

Nov 15

that you might end up with texting charges from your carrier if you send all that, right?

PJMcK

(24,738 posts)

16. Good snark!

Reply to True Dough (Reply #13)

Sat Nov 15, 2025, 11:03 AM

Nov 15

My phone plan allows for unlimited text and data!

Of course, I won’t expect a response.

Enjoy your weekend!

True Dough

(25,820 posts)

18. You too, PJMcK!

Reply to PJMcK (Reply #16)

Sat Nov 15, 2025, 11:14 AM

Nov 15

Aristus

(71,641 posts)

14. Hey, Yehoshua; you want to come down here and bitch-slap

Reply to True Dough (Original post)

Sat Nov 15, 2025, 09:55 AM

Nov 15

the people commit atrocities in your name? Kthxby.

GreenWave

(12,321 posts)

15. Is Herc ok with the usurpation of his 4 titles?

Reply to True Dough (Original post)

Sat Nov 15, 2025, 10:19 AM

Nov 15

Son of Man?
Prince of Peace?
Good Shepherd?
Soter, er, Savior?

Norrrm

(3,987 posts)

17. Jesus is not omnipotent enough to communicate himself?

Reply to True Dough (Original post)

Sat Nov 15, 2025, 11:11 AM

Nov 15

Pat Robertson, Franklin Graham and their ilk are CBR - Cash Based Religion.

Judas was an early, modern-day, conservative disciple.

Judas got 30 pieces of silver, but just once, for selling Christ.

Franklin Graham, Jim Bakker, Pat Robertson, and their ilk get millions of dollars repeatedly for selling Christ.

Judas was a fool for doing a one-time sale.

Solly Mack

(96,325 posts)

19. How's it hanging?

Reply to True Dough (Original post)

Sat Nov 15, 2025, 12:07 PM

Nov 15

True Dough

(25,820 posts)

21. I'm sensing

Reply to Solly Mack (Reply #19)

Sat Nov 15, 2025, 02:40 PM

Nov 15

some double-entendre!

Solly Mack

(96,325 posts)

22. Well, it ain't a parable.

Reply to True Dough (Reply #21)

Sat Nov 15, 2025, 03:11 PM

Nov 15

Iggo

(49,650 posts)

20. "Whoa! You're real? No fucking way!'

Reply to True Dough (Original post)

Sat Nov 15, 2025, 12:11 PM

Nov 15

LudwigPastorius

(14,156 posts)

23. What does the "H." stand for?

Reply to True Dough (Original post)

Sat Nov 15, 2025, 03:13 PM

Nov 15

Rizen

(1,024 posts)

24. I like your Christ.

Reply to True Dough (Original post)

Sat Nov 15, 2025, 08:31 PM

Nov 15

I do not like your Christians, they are so unlike your Christ.

JoseBalow

(9,162 posts)

25. "What's the best mulch for my rose beds in the fall?"

Reply to True Dough (Original post)

Sat Nov 15, 2025, 11:57 PM

Nov 15

Ocelot II

(129,042 posts)

26. Where have you been? Weren't you supposed to come back years ago?

Reply to True Dough (Original post)

Sun Nov 16, 2025, 12:01 AM

Nov 16

Or was hanging out with your dad and the cherubim and seraphim too cushy a gig to give up? Can't blame you, though, considering what the same sort of assholes we've got now did to you last time.