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Staph

(6,403 posts) Sat Apr 26, 2025, 06:45 PM Apr 26

I need some clean jokes!

Our pastor has decided that this Sunday is Holy Humor Sunday - I think he's just glad that the heavy lifting that is Holy Week is over.

We've been asked to wear comfortable and/or whimsical clothing and bring some of our favorite jokes. I'm terrible at remembering jokes. Do you have any that you think would be appropriate in church?

Thanks in advance!

14 replies

= new reply since forum marked as read

Highlight:

I need some clean jokes! (Original Post) Staph Apr 26 OP

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Alpeduez21 Apr 26 #1

This message was self-deleted by its author Irish_Dem Apr 26 #9

I just googled "clean jokes for adults" and first link listed 150. have fun! niyad Apr 26 #2

Did you hear North Shore Chicago Apr 26 #3

Here is one that should work and is apropos for the venue sdfernando Apr 26 #4

A woman had twin boys UpInArms Apr 26 #5

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. underpants Apr 26 #6

guy walking past his son's room Skittles Apr 26 #7

Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? Diamond_Dog Apr 26 #8

Clean jokes? True Dough Apr 26 #10

This message was self-deleted by its author Irish_Dem Apr 26 #11

Google "Clean Jokes." Paladin Apr 26 #12

I actually posted this joke last week in General Discussion. Morbius Apr 26 #13

What's worse than raining cats and dogs? boonecreek Apr 26 #14

Alpeduez21

(1,934 posts)

1. What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Reply to Staph (Original post)

Sat Apr 26, 2025, 06:48 PM

Apr 26

Anyone can roast beef!

Response to Alpeduez21 (Reply #1)

Irish_Dem This message was self-deleted by its author.

niyad

(123,901 posts)

2. I just googled "clean jokes for adults" and first link listed 150. have fun!

Reply to Staph (Original post)

Sat Apr 26, 2025, 06:52 PM

Apr 26

By the way, that minister should be applauded. What a great idea.

North Shore Chicago

(4,164 posts)

3. Did you hear

Reply to Staph (Original post)

Sat Apr 26, 2025, 06:53 PM

Apr 26

about the corduroy pillow?

It made headlines!

sdfernando

(5,730 posts)

4. Here is one that should work and is apropos for the venue

Reply to Staph (Original post)

Sat Apr 26, 2025, 06:54 PM

Apr 26

Two Nuns walk into a bar.

...the third one ducked.

UpInArms

(52,828 posts)

5. A woman had twin boys

Reply to Staph (Original post)

Sat Apr 26, 2025, 06:57 PM

Apr 26

She named them Amal and Juan … but she only carried one picture in her wallet …

And when people would ask to see the other, she replied

If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Amal

underpants

(190,825 posts)

6. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

Reply to Staph (Original post)

Sat Apr 26, 2025, 07:00 PM

Apr 26

Groucho Marx

Skittles

(164,503 posts)

7. guy walking past his son's room

Reply to Staph (Original post)

Sat Apr 26, 2025, 07:22 PM

Apr 26

"Son, if you don't stop doing that you'll go blind!"

son: "HEY DAD, I'M OVER HERE!"

OOPS, sorry, not so clean, MY BAD.

Diamond_Dog

(37,130 posts)

8. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?

Reply to Staph (Original post)

Sat Apr 26, 2025, 07:40 PM

Apr 26

In case he got a hole in one.

True Dough

(23,141 posts)

10. Clean jokes?

Reply to Staph (Original post)

Sat Apr 26, 2025, 07:47 PM

Apr 26

How does the moon take a bath? It has meteor showers!

Gave my pet leopard a bath every day. Now he’s spotless.

I was alone in the bath. Imagine my surprise when I felt a tap on my shoulder!

I just dropped my phone in the bath. Now it's syncing.

I tried giving my cat a bath and it went terribly... I couldn't get the fur off my tongue for a week.

Response to True Dough (Reply #10)

Irish_Dem This message was self-deleted by its author.

Paladin

(30,536 posts)

12. Google "Clean Jokes."

Reply to Staph (Original post)

Sat Apr 26, 2025, 08:05 PM

Apr 26

There are dozens of sites.

Morbius

(505 posts)

13. I actually posted this joke last week in General Discussion.

Reply to Staph (Original post)

Sat Apr 26, 2025, 08:12 PM

Apr 26

So, there's a chance some of you already know it:

The other day, I saw a man washing his car with his son. And the kid said, "Aw, Dad. Couldn't you just use a sponge?"

boonecreek

(979 posts)

14. What's worse than raining cats and dogs?

Reply to Staph (Original post)

Sat Apr 26, 2025, 09:56 PM

Apr 26

Hailing taxis.

Reply to this discussion